As far as I can see back, Christmas was a painful reminder that I am alone.
I always wanted to go home… home was a place where I longed to be, but I had no idea what that would be like. Surely where I lived wasn’t home. Surely the people I was with left me feeling alone.
Later, relationship made my life busy, but I still felt alone. Not envying others, not something wrong, just alone. Like you are on the top of a mountain, and no one to share the experience with.