It is really hard to decide who to trust. Most people, over time, prove untrustworthy. Doctors, lawyers, accountants, friends, spouses.

Oh, and the so-called teachers and gurus.

But Why? It is all because the level of “morality” of homo sapiens is controlled “desire to receive for the self alone” and the “fat dog syndrome”.

Desire to receive for the self alone is from the “Selfish Gene”… a theory that explains that the genes only consider the living thing a vehicle to carry around and provide for the survival of that Selfish Gene.

And, because there are billions of genes out there, the genes are only interested in their own survival, not other genes’. And because it is a competitive environment, the Selfish Gene is int

I live on the edge of a forest in the middle of a city. There is wildlife, deer, skunk, raccoon, millions of squirrels, lots of birds, including birds of prey.

So, of course, we have field mice. No, let me correct that: I have field mice.

So I have a stash of 12 mice cubes, they have proven themselves over and over again in the 16 years that I have lived here.

And I have peanut butter for bait…

I can smell when a mouse moves in… and it takes, on average, fo

In sous vide style cooking you put the raw food in a vacuum sealed bag, immerse it in water with temperature comfortable for your hands, and let it cook for a while. How long? There are recipes on the internet…

My Human Design eating type, eating style is “separator”. I am not allowed to mix foods in my meals. Why? I guess the original humans didn’t… Or maybe my stomach is weak and can’t figure out what to do with mixtures.

My be it is like a juggler who says: one thing is OK, two is a mess…

And because I am in the process of tricking death that was ready to take over back in August, and I am escaping in one inch at a time, being rigorous about my eating type s

I love watching movies, I love reading, I am a half introvert half extrovert person.

I have met someone (Ben Settle) with similar personality, to adopt as a teacher. I start my day with reading his email. And I always find some way to become bigger from it.

On some level, in some aspect, you need to be the same as your teacher, or you won’t let them get through to you… My parents were both so different from me, that I learned only two sentences worth from them, both from my father.

One of his teaching was a sentence that I misunderstood for at least 50 years… until I got what he meant.

He said:

let it go… it will pass over that much sooner.

Of course he said it in Hungarian, b

I just watched the documentary, Minding the Gap, It’s about three boys who bond over skateboarding, and a shared childhood of abuse.

The documentary is made by one of the three boys, 15 years of their lives you get to witness.

You can’t avoid to look at your own life. No escape.

There is so much grief, in everyone, and it is so hard to recover from it. It took me a lifetime… And grief is not just beating, or molestation, it is everything that lands as abuse, not letting you wear what you prefer to wear, not letting you eat what you prefer to eat, not helping you with your homework, belittling every effort you make, forcing you to visit with your father even though you don’t want to, complaining to y

Code book discrepancy?

As a kid, my teacher said about me that I was amoral. Not immoral… amoral. Immoral: not conforming to accepted standards of morality. Amoral, on the other hand is lacking a moral sense; unconcerned with the rightness or wrongness of something.

Now, whether that was true or not: I don’t know. In fact, I have no idea. I think every child is amoral: we haven’t been indoctrinated in a moral code… aka code book.

My code book is probably different from your code book.

If you assume that I’ll see something the same way as you see, you’ll get hurt, disappointed, slighted, offended, angry, puzzled…

My code book is my code book. Yours is yours. You got it where YOU got

I woke up disgruntled… (=angry, dissatisfied) almost ready to go into devastation (which is my “home page”) but it all changed as I sat down and began to write. What was going to be a rant, became a celebration.

I guess I am not stuck with, neither am invested in, nor am I resisting being someone who rants when I feel beaten, or slighted, or hurt…Most of my students either are invested (i.e. known for) or resist being angry… i.e. stuck with being angry.

It seems that I accep

And I rarely say anything twice. I expressed it once, and I am done with it.

34 years ago I started my journey from misery to The Promised Land… It was promised… and I went for it.

It was the last weekend of August back in 1985.

I snuck away from Jerusalem, where I lived at the time. Took the 2-hour bride to Haifa, took a taxi, and voila, my journey began.

It was a Communication Workshop. In Hebrew. My Hebrew was good enough to do work, but was pretty meager for transformational work, so it wasn’t till the last day that I understood a full sentence.

But that didn’t prevent me from having a breakthrough.

I was molested by my father when I was preschool girl… And I carried a lot