I woke up from a recurring nightmare around 4 am today.
I was employed as an architect but I was too foggy and weak, and unmotivated to work, I was just wandering all day, not able to do any good work.
Still in the nightmare: I was coming back from the lunch break having one desire only: climb under the drafting board and sleep. Or dream of a company that has siesta rooms…Hide.
Then the boss calls for me and says: Sophie, we need to talk.
I need to explain my non-performance, but Brain fog is not an accepted excuse for work not done…
This is when I woke up with a start, at 4 am… and started to muscle test different questions.
I know I have some emotional blocks somewhere that I can’t clear up on my own. I have tried and for some reason I just can’t do it.
Another empath has helped open up whatever gates that are closed and I could FEEL some things again. I don’t know exactly what is going on, but I know on a certain level that an empath is what I need to be able to feel alive again.
I’m tired of my emotions and actions being on autopilot and just feeling nothing all of the time.
The only real feelings I can feel at times is being neutral (to an extent), some anger, and a kind of sadness.
Where is that feeling of love, of pure selflessness, understa
Nature or nurture is a big question, even though, in the big picture, it won’t matter.
What is part of nature can be changed. In fact it is being changed effectively all the time.
What is part of nurture is harder to change, but it’s possible. It just takes more work.
Just the opposite of what you thought, right?
I am a good example for nature being changed: I got smarter than when I started, smarter than my siblings and my parents… through application. High achievers in the world are mostly of this type: born with little or average, worked
You look around. Everyone seems to have it better than you. They laugh, they hug, they walk hand in hand, kiss… or have friends who like them… but you? If feels like you have no one, no one cares about you, no one responds well to you… You are not getting enough “strokes”… from others.
A “stroke” (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more strokes you get the less your spine will shrivel up on you…
Experiments show that babies stop thriving if they have insufficient social
OK, I am getting emails asking if I am OK… this is what you get when people expect to hear from you every day…
Am I OK? I don’t feel OK.
But, of course, nothing is going on in reality… I am still doing work, I still read, eat, walk, talk to people… I just don’t have an article in me. So consider this a chat… not an article.
What happened?
The Playground, the year long process of emptying your past of “wrong” is what happened. lol.
Leading a program authentically, makes you walk with your students. Not ahead them, not behind them, with them.
This is why I don’t attempt to run many courses and programs: I would not be able to do this… you cannot be at two places at the s
The Outcome Is Not Pretty. You Are Trying. You Fail. What’s Going On?
Your Troubles Are Repeating Themselves. your life is scripted. different locales, different characters, but it is the same repeating story. You Are Living Out A Script… The Outcome Is Not Pretty. You Are Trying. You Fail. What’s Going On?
I would dare to say, that repeating a script that only brings you trouble, pain, guilt, shame is the opposite of emotional intelligence.
The first “modality” for “emotional intelligence” I encountered was beating. By my mother, occasionally by my father.
The second modality I encountered was psychotherapy, by a psychiatrist, who, after two years of ther
You can only control what belongs to you… Your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions don’t belong to you. Your actions, your attitude, what you actually heed, what you say… they do belong to you.
They are interestingly difficult to see… they are hidden from your view, overcrowded by noise.
We call these here: invisible dynamics. They are tiny machines, their behavior is predictable, manageable, and their effect on your life are detrimental.
What do I mean too late? I mean this: The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken
This saying sounds like the god honest truth, doesn’t it? But when I muscle test, it is only 20% true…
Why is the truth value of something universally accepted as truth?
It is true, because it takes effort and intention and commitment to break bad habits. And we, humans, are not very motivated to change any habit, let alone a habit that gets us pleasure… in another name, payoffs. But when people can see, when people can own that they pay with their lives, a lot more people are interested and are willing to make efforts…
The biggest hindrance is the goodies… What goodies? you as
I woke up from a recurring nightmare around 4 am today.
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