Your identity, the things you are known for, your typical behavior have all been fixes… solution to some perceived problem and now you are like a puppet on a string… powerless, inauthentic, and incapable of being happy, peaceful, joyful, and fulfilled.
For example, I experienced getting hurt because I trusted someone… so I decided to never ever ever ever trust anyone again… I became fiercely independent… in everything.
I got punished for asking my mother for supplies for my architecture studies… so I became someone who can do anything,
… or not f… it up… Same thing. both result in no peace, no joy, no good results.
Why would you have that expectation?
Given the reaction you have to that expectation, given the reaction you have to that sentence, devastation when you actually do f… something up, suggests, that you expect yourself to go through life never making a mistake… i.e. Perfection.
You are not alone. Some people give their whole life to that “not”… to that unreality… and suffer, become total underachievers, and altogether unpleasant people no one really wants around.
Perfection is an ideal. Ideal, by definition, is unattainable
People, YOU too, have standards… standards that are mostly doable, mostly
Emotional Intelligence is a buzz word, an expression, that no one explains, and yet, everyone pretends that they know what they are talking about.
No such THING as emotional intelligence… it is made up.
And yet: some people maneuver life better than others, have less upsets, upheavals, self-hate, than others.
They take obstacles differently than others. They are OK with themselves, and they don’t worry about what other people think about them. They are not attention, approval, drama seekers. They just do what they do… and let others do what others do.
We call those people emotionally intelligent.
I guess you are reading this article because you are not like that.
You are stingy with others… You don’t have energy to be kind, caring, supportive… Or if you do, maybe your family and friends are not kind or supportive to you… Here is the why…
To be kind, etc… you need an abundance of surplus energy. If your body is in survival mode, the first things that NEED to go are the nice things for others… then for yourself. Some dogooders reverse the order…
People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.” I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds. ~ Carl R. Rogers
Quite a few of my students and clients are in this predicament, I even found myself feeling starved for “companionship”… for someone to hear what I have to say.
What is this about?
The answer, the elegant answer comes from a movie, Shall We Dance? where Susan Sarandon hires a private detective to find out what her husband does every Thursday night, and why he is acting so different.
The private detective asks why Susan Sarandon’s character married this guy.
The answer is the answer to your question: “I wanted my life to be witnessed.”
That is one of the most fundamental human needs: to have your life be witnessed. So you d
I had an important and eye-opening insight today. A looking back…
Let me tell you the story so you get the fact that the likelihood of me ever discovering this was between none and zero.
It began some 30 years ago when I was a magazine publisher. Every time a magazine was already in the street, I went to my computer and cleaned up the space, I archived everything that was said and done, made room for the new issue. I did the same thing in the office.
I called this time and energy consuming step “cleaning from the root”, or alternatively “preparing for a new harvest”…
My life was organized, orderly, I was thin, vibrant, beautiful, and OK.
I don’t remember why, but I signed up to Simpleology, Mark Joyner’s program. [note]Mark Joyner: vibration 150… Why is it so low if he is so successful? Success and vibration are often go in different directions. If a person has too many predatory genes, like Mark Joyner (10) success is fueled by predatory needs. Predatory needs, like hunger, the need to procreate, the need to win, the need to be right, the need to dominate, are low vibration energies… lower needs.
.
The interesting thing about Mark is that he also has high aspirations… but his methods all come from greed.[/note]
As far as I can see, feeling powerless, feeling at the mercy of something out of your control, is part of the human experience, in fact it is a fundamental part of the human experience. And it is a part of it, even after the activation of The Original Design where homo sapiens turns into Human Being.
Why is it part of the Original Design? Because it was part of the experience of the Original Vessel, according to Kabbalah. And because I haven’t seen much in Kabbalah that wasn’t, that didn’t turn out to be true, I am going to conditionally trust Kabbalah…
I am not going to tell the story again, if you don’t know it, please look it up.
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I don’t know what I am doing… but my life seems to be going in the right direction
Most successful people, if and when you ask them, they don’t have a theory, they don’t have a grand scheme of things, they are just doing what they are doing and it works. In one area of life…
Wherever they are successful.
Work, or health, ot relationships, or money… etc.
It seems that the human condition is that you do something, and then make a rule from it: to do it again, fix it, or to never do it again.
Humans, YOU, want to fix things…
Sleepless Seniors Overusing Store Drugs
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