Are You “Doing” Compassion Wrong? 5 Ways to Practice Advanced Compassion

This is an old article. On compassion.

I dare to disagree: compassion is not a feeling, compassion is not an emotion. It is a capacity.

It is a human capacity to recognize the other person as a person like you, recognize their state as a state you have seen or experienced, and, surprise, compassion is a willingness to help the person through the situation, inner or outer, to the other side, where they can be well.

The way most people relate to compassion, is more like pity. A superiority. A leaning down to another.

No recognition of the sameness, only the difference: I am better off, I am better, I am lucky.

Compassion is rather a partnership, albeit temporary. But that is, probably, too much to ask of today’s humans… you?

When you feel compassion for someone, how does it feel to you? Does it feel sad, scary, loving, or a mixture? Think about it before you read on. When was the last time you felt compassion? Who were you with? Who was it for? What was happening to them? What did you feel toward them?

Compassion has a different definition in Asia than it does in the U.S., and frankly, I like Asia’s take on it much better. The primary difference is that in the U.S., we can have compassion for others, but not normally toward ourselves. In Asia, the term compassion includes self-love and love for others. I think this is a critical distinction.

I like to define compassion differently than everyone else. Compassion is one of the highest emotions we can experience. It is 100% pure unselfish love. In my definition of compassion, there is no fear. There is no pity. There is no sadness. There is only positive love in the highest vibration. It helps others far more to project our highest positive emotion rather than to spread our negative emotions of fear, sadness, and pity.

And this takes practice to perfect.

In the U.S., we’re not even too used to “practicing” our emotions. They kind of just ooze out of us. Once we start practicing compassion, we can get really awesome at it. We might be lifting the 20 pounder at the beginning, but once we start exercising regularly, we can lift more and more. The benefit of practicing is that we feel more and more love each time. The feeling of love gets more intense, and that feels good.

Here are five steps to experience compassion more intensely than you ever have before.

  1. Focus on yourself. Center and ground yourself. If you feel afraid, deal with that first before projecting your emotions on others. Compassion is not a negative emotion. Sending compassion because you are having a self-pity party about “what if it happened to me” is not a good reason for sending compassion.
  2. Fill yourself with compassion first. Most of us need to work on this far more than we realize!

    If you need help being more intentional about your emotions, draw from the past: bring to mind a time when you felt tremendous strength, and re-live that emotion through savoring.

  3. Focus on the person you are sending compassion to. Make sure that in your mind, they are equal human beings to you in every way. This avoids bringing negativity into your compassion through pity or feeling sorry for the subject of your compassion.
  4. Send compassion to your recipient from a place of pure strength and love.
  5. Check to make sure your experience of compassion is purely positive, with no fear, no anger, no comparing, and no sadness.

    Revel in the fullness and strength of your compassion now compared to how you have sent it before.

Because emotions are contagious, practicing compassion grounded in pure positive emotional vibration will help your recipient far more than compassion generated out of fear. You will feel less drained as well. You may even feel rejuvenated.

Go through these steps a few times until you become used to this new way of practicing compassion. Not only will you feel amazing each time you practice, the world will benefit from your high vibration and positive energy.

When more of us come from a place of high positive emotions more often, the world will move from chaos to calm and from fear to love, one person at a time.

Read the original article: Are You “Doing” Compassion Wrong? 5 Ways to Practice Advanced Compassion

The organs weep the tears that the eyes refuse to shed

Reality and fiction, reality and fantasy, reality and dreaming are occasionally hard to tell apart.

I may dream that I am getting up and even getting to my office… only to discover that I am still in bed, under the covers… It felt so real

I am lucky it is only on cold morning… Some people spend their lives on the border of dreaming and living.

Some books are intentionally written in a way that the reader can’t tell if it is fantasy or a skillful telling what happened.

Two books come to mind most: Anastasia, The Ringing Cedars of Russia that sold tens of millions of copies. I have them, and read them. I enjoyed them. Well written fiction, although some of it is bad as far as fiction goes.

Humanity, especially women, took every word of the book for a fact, and there are groups, quasi religious, the Anastasiasts…

The other book is Dan Millman’s book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior.

It’s of the same genre… fantasy is mixed with reality… skillfully, I admit.

I enjoyed that book too… but I am going to rain on some parades…

Fantasy believed is not good for you.

The followup book to The Peaceful Warrior, The Journeys of Socrates. The white haired gas station attendant in the first book is called Socrates. This book is one of my favorite books I read once a year. It could be true, except it is 99% fiction. Beautiful, moving fiction, but fiction. A likely story.

The original book is 40% fiction. The interesting part is fiction… Almost believable…

Humanity wants to, desperately wants to live a life that is NOT reality bound. Jump to spirituality, fantasy…

…because, as Freud so astutely said:

‘Life, as we find it, is too hard for us; it brings us too many pains, disappointments and impossible tasks. In order to bear it we cannot dispense with palliative measures… There are perhaps three such measures: powerful deflections, which cause us to make light of our misery; substitutive satisfactions, which diminish it; and intoxicating substances, which make us insensible to it.’

Freud doesn’t say it here, but all religion, all religious ideas, belong to what he calls ‘palliative measures’. I would say they are substitutive satisfactions, as a category.

So there are more than enough writers are willing to jump on the bandwagon, and create fiction that tread the netherworld between reality and fiction, providing the much needed ‘opium of the masses’, the crutches for the weak and weak willed, the flimsy, the ragdoll.

Yes. Reality is hard.

And no one can realistically promise that life will be easy. Instead the job of a self-respecting human, maybe you? is to get strong so they can meet life as equals.

Jim Rohn, famed coach said: ‘Don’t wish it was easier wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems wish for more skills. And don’t wish for less challenge wish for more wisdom‘.

Wishing won’t change anything, fantasizing won’t change anything.

I was taught early in my life that fantasizing will culminate waking up with your hand in the chamberpot, kneading the poop as if it were chocolate…

A strong visual, not mentioning the aroma… lol.

So I was lucky, I was taught not to fantasize… But the bulk of humanity wasn’t… And life is, admittedly, hard.

I get it, working, struggling, is, or feels pedestrian.

But humans are physical beings with the capacity to become more.

But the more is ground, firmly, in their physical.

A full half of humans on earth believe that god sent his son and then killed it and that now allows humans to get off scot free. Not happening.

Large groups believe that if you practice gratefulness, then the ‘Universe’ will send you gold bullions, or a million dollar mansion.

I am attracting a lot of the wishful thinkers… the quasi spiritual, the hopeful ones

It so happens, that what I do is misunderstood, and people hope that what I teach, what I do, can turn them into ‘spiritual beings having a physical experience.’

But judging from what I see… people have no concept that life is physical… and therefore needs to obey physical laws.

The only things they ‘know’ from biology and physics is what the pseudo-spiritual sites, gurus say… I got a dose of that yesterday in a consulting call I did with a woman… No actual biology, no actual physics.

I think my biggest advantage is, be surprised if you wish, is that my basic education comes from Carl Marx… that emphasizes the physical as primary.

After being fully educated in reality I went to architecture school, where all your fantasies could only be built if you were aware, if you honored, if you were skillful with physics.

A building may seem to fly like a bird… but it is anchored to the ground… Always… or it’s not a building.

All the woowoo so-called spiritual teachers start with the flying… And what they teach is not valid, it’s not doable, it is a sham, and it is a money-maker for them because YOU WANT TO BE DUPED.

YOU WANT TO BE DUPED

I build a lot of ‘tolerance’ and ‘redundancy’ into my schedule. So if occasionally I don’t get up when I planned to get up, nothing bad will happen to me.

But if you have ambitions that need you to get things done, if you have desires for more, better, or different, you might come out to reality to play… and tighten the reins on yourself.

The only thing that gets anything happen in reality is action.

Admittedly some words are also action… but before your word has power, you’d better know how to get to power… where your word can have power.

In the novel, The Journeys of Socrates, it takes him 16 years to get to where he can get out of the way of his power.

His mind.

Your mind, your resistance, your reaction to every freaking word, every freaking idea, your self-concern prevents you from having ANY power.

You are like a walnut shell thrown about on the stormy sea… No motive power, no direction, no amount of saying to yourself: I am grateful will get you where you want to go. Some buy a Gratitude Journal… that will do it! But you want to be grateful for the good things while you call everything else wrong?

In my ‘system’ of building from the ground up, clearing the ground first, digging deep for getting to what is already there. building a strong foundation, and then building a future. Brick by brick.

The flying mobile homes, and the collapsing homes in tornado areas should illustrate famously the illiteracy and ignorance of physics… Ignore it at your own peril.

Most people learning from me are in the ‘clearing the deck’ phase.

I have been doing this work for a long time, but I am back digging for what’s already there, that doesn’t allow me to become all I can become.

If you think you are better, if you think you can start on the second floor, or maybe even the penthouse of your being… I am fine with it, just do it away from me.

I wish you luck.

As we are working on the anchors that hold you back, hold you down, hold you tight, we also look at the repeating script caused by those pesky early decisions.

I work 2-3 times a week with a man who, like a puppet on a string, repeating the same devastating script.

It is not enough to know the script, it is important to see what EXACTLY the words are that trigger it.

Yesterday, in a marathon two and a half hour long coaching session with Kristof, I think we’ve hit paydirt… the exact words that need to be cleared…

When you have the exact words, you can start building a habit, a practice, that makes it possible for you to pull the sting from the words… and start having some power.

The energetic surgeries are both constructive and exploratory.

As I pull your anchors, I can feel the invisible dynamic rather accurately. And then conversations can have some power… and design to take actions to restore power.

I guess 99% of humanity, and even about 90% of my readers don’t have enough confidence in themselves or in the methodology to actually do any work.

But it works if you work it… as they say in Alcoholics Anonymous.

And just to be sure, some of my clients hold back and resist doing the work…

Only consistency will matter. Or as Buckminster Fuller said ‘Only integrity will count‘ meaning: when things aren’t working it is always that we have violated integrity.

We ignored it.

The mind cannot have integrity… it can jump, it can fly, it can do anything… because there is no reality in the mind. It is all fiction.

But your life only works for you if and when there is integrity.

Most people’s integrity is so low, that it hovers around zero.

The average integrity on the planet is 1%… about as sturdy as a mobile home.

I have been teaching an Integrity Course that is all based on people… But I can see that unless I bring a new aspect, your integrity with reality, there is more to teach.

When you base your life, your beliefs, your whole worldview on the word of a baby, your life cannot have integrity… Because none of what you said as a baby, none of your beliefs hold any water.

And as long as you insist that it is so… your life won’t work.

I have recently gone back and re-examined my own beliefs about myself and my family’s relationship to me. And I have found that I have a lot more access now to what they said and why they said it, and this new, more in reality based view has a chance to set me free.

And of course, when you are close, you get guidance.

I stumbled on the story of a misfit aka runt lion cub… and its journey, how it got a second chance, and made it to adulthood.

I cried. And I saw that that is another interpretation of what happened to me… having been born so little, and so weak. But like the injured lion cub I marched bravely, and never gave up…

And here I am, 74 years old, still holding my own… still weak, still little, but doing the best I can… and still striving to do even better, at my age.

The new Integrity Course will include the recorded course from 2021 and add the new part: your relationship to reality. You can be on time, keep all your agreements, but if the foundation of your world isn’t based in reality, you have no integrity… your life is flimsy, and your results in life will be flimsy too.

I have not created the new course yet. It probably won’t be read for a few more weeks… I am experimenting with methods of teaching it.

So if you are lucky, and you jump on it, you’ll pay much less than I’ll charge when the course is ready.

If you already have the recorded course… don’t jump… Wait until I have a better idea how much to charge.

Should you buy the recorded course now? Yes.

The sad truth is that integrity is such an obscure concept for most people, that they have really no idea how to strengthen it, and how to gain more life for themselves.

So yeah, buy it. It is priced very low, because I want you to have it. It will provide a much needed clarity.

Quite a few people have built a successful life on that one course… Even surprising me… lol.


Get the integrity course
PS: If your life is based on false statements, made up on the spot, it can’t have integrity.

Read the original article: The organs weep the tears that the eyes refuse to shed

Yoga Teachers And The Yoga Alliance

Yoga is fashionable, it is an exercise for most. But yoga used to be a serious spiritual practice.

How and why? Yoga can give you superior control over your attention, over your body. Once you have control over what you can have control over, the next step is to recognize that you are neither your body, nor your thoughts, history, emotions, you are outside of all that: you are the Watcher. And you will recognize that the Watcher doesn’t participate in all the hubbub of the life… the Watcher observes it.

And that was the purpose of yoga, that has been completely dropped out.

But because context is decisive, without that context, none of the yoga practitioners can attain to that higher level of living, the living of a human being. Sad… but not irreversible.

Registering with the Yoga Alliance has many advantages for the yoga professional and offers more credibility to those who teach yoga. Their global registry acknowledges your training and knowledge and your ability as a yoga teacher. Being a member will also help when applying for a job, as being a member of the Yoga Alliance instills confidence and respect in your students. As a member of the Alliance, you will have achieved certain recognized standards, and those students who know of the Alliance respect its work and will seek out members as teachers. By using their designated registry marks – RYT or E-RYT after your name on business correspondence, business cards and advertising, your membership will be instantly recognizable.

The Alliance offers many networking opportunities, as the founders realize that in order to spread the word about the benefits of yoga, their members need to be able to communicate with others on a business level. The Yoga Alliance is very aware that those who run their own studios or those who are independent yoga teachers can become cut off from the main stream. Through their networking opportunities, yoga professionals can learn about opportunities for further education and interact with others on a professional level.

As many aspects of yoga are acknowledged by some in the medical community to help with weight loss, stress, high blood pressure and other medical conditions, having the designated registry mark RYT or E-RYT after your name, means you are more likely to be recommended by another health professional.

If you have a website you use for advertising purposes, those searching for a yoga teacher or studio in their area will also be more attracted to those with bona fide qualifications. By offering a link through to the Yoga Alliance website, the searcher will be given an in depth look at what the Alliance sets out to do, and be given salient information about the many benefits of practicing yoga themselves. It is a good selling point for those who have an established business and for those wishing to build clientele for a new yoga studio.

Registration fees with the Yoga Alliance are low, compared to the many benefits they offer. Schools that offer yoga teacher training can apply under a number of different programs within the Yoga Alliance, as long as a number of criteria are met by the school. The Alliance offers four basic programs: Children’s yoga, pre-natal yoga which is becoming a very popular choice for new mothers, plus either 200-hour or 500-hour certification and can take up to 90 days once the application is received.

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Soul Work – are you doing it?

Goodbyes-are-only-for-thoseMy students say that I am harsh. That I don’t see the best in people. That I’d catch more flies with honey…

Yeah, I know. Flies love honey… but I am looking to talk to people who aspire to go to the next level of human evolution, and those people are not flies. They are not scared away by reality: they know it will take taking a hard look at reality that is not pretty…

I am a realist. Rob Brezsny is an optimist… he has a lot of honey… yet, a realist finds the work in what he says, and loves it. [note]PS: Rob Brezsny also ask you to do work, by the way. He knows that without work you’ll stay the same, the world will become worse every minute, and life becomes less tolerable. But he manages to dress these assignment in a way that you can just read it, nod and that’s that…

  1. Here are some of the assignments Rob Brezsny (personal vibration: 190) that are appropriate for this time of the year:
  2. Review in painstaking detail the history of your life, honoring every moment as if you were conducting a benevolent Judgment Day.
  3. Forgive yourself for every mistake except one.
  4. Create a royal crown for yourself out of a shower cap, rubber bands, and light bulbs.
  5. Think of the last place on Earth you’d ever want to visit, and visualize yourself having fun there.
  6. Test to see if people are really listening to you by asserting that Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers.
  7. Steal lint from dryers in laundromats and use it to make animal sculptures for someone you admire.
  8. Fantasize you’re the child of divine parents who abandoned you when you were two days old, but who will soon be coming back to reunite with you.

I am convinced, maybe mistakenly, that having a handful of students that are willing to work and actually do the work makes more difference than all the feel-good gooey stuff others dish out… Please argue with me… I’ll answer each respectful comment.[/note]

Rob Breszny writes: While walking in San Francisco, I passed the Pacific Heights Health Club. The sign out front said, “Birthday suits tailored here.” It was a witty reference to the idea that working out at a gym helps people get their naked bodies in good shape. I’d like to interpret the sign’s message in a different way, and apply it to you. The time is right for you to get back in touch with your raw, original self, and give it the care and the fuel and the treats it has been missing. Who did you start out to be? What does your soul’s blueprint say about who you must become? Home in on your source code and boost its signal.

Continue reading →

The atypical brain, being on the spectrum. Genius? Moron?

autism is atypical brainI first heard about ‘the spectrum‘ from a classmate of mine, in 1997. She is, was an advocate for his brother with Asperger’s… which is a certain level of atypical brain syndrome. The mildest is dyslexia, and the spectrum goes all the way to full blown autism.

We have lost touch since, but she has helped me to understand some of the differences I experienced. Differences from others. Continue reading →

Little Known Ways to Stop Procrastinating Homework

The most important thing to know about procrastination is that it’s an avoidance tactic.

We all have it, it is a matter of degrees. Successful people, successful students avoid what they have to do, in this case doing their homework, less of the time. But just know: every time the idea of doing comes up: the idea of avoidance comes up too.

What is the difference between a student that chooses doing their homework and a student that chooses to do avoidance?

The difference is not so much in the moment, but in the students approach to life and studying in general.

Context is decisive, goes the saying. Context is the why of an activity.
Context answers the why would you do that? Why do you want it? To what end would you do it? What’s in it for you?

A good student has answered that question differently from the avoiding student.
A good student could have picked an goal, like getting educated, getting good grades to get into a good college, getting good grades to please my mother, learning to work my mind, etc. etc. etc.

A bad student considers learning useless, a waste of time, something that was imposed on them. They, potentially, consider liberty: doing what they want to do when they want to do it, and not doing what they don’t want to do… when they don’t want to do it, more important than freedom, what they ultimately crave. The freedom to be themselves.

Nietzsche, a famous German philosopher, called that behavior “infantile will to power”… which means, that when you do avoidance tactic, you are acting like a belligerent young child, maybe even a baby, crying for the bottle.

One of the most valued capacities for a human is maturity. Behaving and using your adult capacities… choosing, saying no, the ability to be with, and be effective in spite of negative emotions, pain, or bad thoughts.

And another invaluable capacity of an adult is to choose the context carefully, choose it to help them through the difficulties of dealing with unpleasant feelings, memories, and emotions, successfully, so they move forward in life.

The biological age of a person can be 70, but their behavior can alternate between 5 years old and 15 years old: I know, I have a client like that, lol.

Band-aid type solutions like the ones this following article teach are just that: band-aids.

As procrastination is part of being human, it is common to put off the tasks we are not fond of in order to do more pleasurable tasks.

Homework is one of the most common tasks that gets deferred. Although it seems impossible, it is possible to stop procrastinating homework assignments and have more time to spend doing more pleasant activities.

These simple steps can assist you in using your time more effectively.

First, ensure that you have a quiet, comfortable place to sit down and think. Ensuring that you have everything you need at hand to finish the task will eliminate unnecessary diversions.

Focusing on the task at hand without any distractions will make it much easier to concentrate and may allow those creative juices to start flowing.

Secondly, break homework assignments up. For example, if you have been assigned 20 math problems, dissect them into four parts. Give yourself half an hour to complete those five questions. Then, take a break. Allow yourself a few minutes in between to do something pleasurable such as calling a friend. This will help clear your mind and sharpen your thought process. Then, tackle the next five. Before you know it, your math will be done and you will have all the time in the world to just hang out.

Next, prioritize your homework schedule. Keep a planner or list your homework on a sheet of paper by due dates. Once you have started an assignment, don’t jump around. Starting one task and not finishing it before starting another can leave you feeling completely overwhelmed. Tackling one thing at a time until it is complete can give you a small sense of accomplishment which will boost your confidence and can keep you going. You’ll get better results too.

Finally, a great way to stop procrastinating homework and break bad habits is to alleviate mental stressors that can effect your ability to take charge.

Emotional Freedom Techniques can help you discover what those stressors are and fight them.

Being able to locate the source of the problem will help in conquering inadequacies in your everyday life. Emotional Freedom Techniques give you ways to stop procrastinating homework and help set you on your own path to emotional freedom. It is a great way for habitual procrastinators if other measures fail.

Emotional Freedom Technique based exercises help struggling students take control to ensure they are on the path to leading successful, powerful lives.

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Tags: | getting unstuck | get unstuck |

Read the original article: Little Known Ways to Stop Procrastinating Homework

Your negative thoughts and feelings are not the enemy

chiselingGreat works of art, science, philosophy are much like a sculpture: they are all chipping away the parts, that don’t belong… but start with a block of marble, a blank canvas, or a single idea.

I offer measuring people’s vibration, because every 30 measurements or so I have an epiphany [note]epiphany is an experience of sudden and striking realization. No religious connotations here.[/note] of sorts: I can unravel, I can see a tiny bit more of what I could not see before.

This is exactly what happened this morning.

The epiphany was about the Harmonizer audio.
Continue reading →

The entitlement anchor: what being ‘entitled’ really means

The entitlement is anchored deep, and unless it’s pulled, it will keep jerking you back and forth, like a puppet.

Because I never felt that I was entitled to anything. My entitlement genes turned off when they were supposed to. It was around age 2. That was actually a little early, but that’s when it happened for me.

I never suspected that the entitlement anchor is actually more predictive to the quality of your life, to your unvoluntary harmful actions than the anchor to doom. Continue reading →