If you know me, you know that the misery I experienced in my life for 50 years drove me to many modalities of relief, including affirmations.

Affirmations don’t work for me. Never did and never will.

Why? Because affirmations are spoken from the mind: and the mind says so many things, a nice word here and there won’t make a difference. Just watch how much difference and how long a pat on the back does to you: not much, correct?

Life started to change when I learned different ways of speaking. I learned that there is descriptive language, and that includes the affirmations: the ordinary way of speaking of most people.

Then there are the active ways of speaking: requests, promises, and declarations. This way of speaking does not come from the mind: it comes from your higher way of being: your vertical plane, your vertical self.

This kind of speaking creates a context that is inescapable.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that people won’t use request or promise sounding sentences, that come from the mind, a casual tool of babbling. They may even seem to declare something, but the power is missing.

Any speaking that comes from the mind is mere chatter, and any speaking that comes from the Self is a command.

So then why do negative statements seem to have disastrous consequences: what the statement says seems to come true? Because those statements, when spoken in the absence of a commitment, the absence of a higher context, are the true description of where the speaker’s world is heading.

I often say: this won’t work… this is going to fail… but my actions are not consistent with those “affirmations”, they are consistent with making it work.

Your most important job, if you want your word to have power, is to learn to connect to your higher self (not god! not Jesus! but your own higher self), and speak from there.

Until then you are just littering the world with your affirmations.

“What changes your focus changes your faith. What changes your faith changes your outcome.” ~ Jesse Duplantis

Let me start by saying that everything you say is some kind of affirmation – either positive or negative. When you complain to your friends, “nothing ever goes right for me,” you are affirming to the world and the universe that nothing should go right in your life.

It’s true, you know. You are where you are today because of your beliefs, attitudes and words. What you say today becomes your reality tomorrow. What you believe about yourself and your situation creates and maintains your world.

You may not like where you are right now. You may not think you deserve all the hassles, stress and problems. And you are right. But you are the only one who can change your life with affirmations.

It was a revelation to me that my lack of money, bad attitude and poor relationships were my own fault! It was life-changing to learn that I could change my circumstances by changing my words.

Over the years, I have learned to say certain things – affirmations – to cancel negatives and attract positive results. Here are six affirmations that changed my life.

1. “I will not be defeated and I will not quit.” It is so easy to throw up your hands and say, “I tried.” But ‘try’ is never enough. To win in any situation, you have to be prepared to stay with it until you do win! It’s a philosophy that applies to everything. Michael Jordan is perhaps the greatest basketball player ever. But he freely admits that he has lost more than 300 games and missed over 9,000 shots. But he never quit. Whatever you want, whatever you need to accomplish, don’t let your circumstances win. Don’t quit.
2. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Yes, it’s a Bible verse. But I use it all the time – when I’m tired and just want to give up (see #1!), when I’m faced with a problem that I don’t know how to solve, when I need physical strength to just get through the day. Sometimes I partner it with “I rest in God’s energy,” drawing strength and resolve from the Eternal source of all energy and ability.
3. “I have the mind of Christ.” The power here taps into Divine wisdom to solve seemingly unsolvable problems. God has answers to every situation. Affirming that connects your spirit with His wisdom. Patience allows Spirit to work on your behalf to bring the answers or change the circumstances to bring the solution you seek.
4. “I am rooted and grounded in Love.” This one is particularly effective when I’m NOT feeling very loving. When someone interrupts ‘my’ routine, wants something from me that I don’t really want to do, or when I’m feeling selfish, I remind myself of my higher calling. I am rooted and grounded in love. I can set aside my wants and focus on the other person. God will take care of me. Use that as an affirmation, coupled with appropriate action to line yourself up for greater blessing.
5. “There is nothing lost in God’s world.” Use this one where you are looking for lost keys, glasses or any misplaced item. It may take some time, but if you will let this work, a thought will pop into your mind to look… somewhere. And you will usually find exactly what you are looking for.
6. “God loves me and has a good plan for my life.” Use this all the time, but especially when circumstances seem aligned against you. This affirmation helps to line up your thinking with the divine plan of blessing and abundance. It helps defeat stress by acknowledging the power of Divine assistance and direction.

Remember, you must stay consistent with your affirmations. Think of your words like a bucket of paint. If you are filling the bucket with negative (black) words, complaints and mumblings throughout your day, how much white (positive) words will you have to speak to get the color you want?

Don’t just think of affirmations as things you speak sometimes. Watch your everyday words to make sure you are speaking what you want. God explained it this way: call those things that be not as though they were (Rom. 4:17). By following His method of creation, you can re-create your own world with your words.

Words have power. They have the power to change your mindset. By changing your mind – your beliefs – you change your attitude. That leads to a change in your actions. Use the “A-team” – Affirmation, Attitude and Action – to change your life.

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Read the original article: Affirmations to Keep You on Track in Life

This article deals with the stages of healing, healing your grief. Denial, anger, fear, and so on.

The most important distinction I can add is: check your cone of vision. If your cone of vision is narrow, everything is colored or filled with your grief: the context of life becomes your grief, independent of the content of life.

In addition to that, when you are grief stricken, you start interacting with unreality, and avoid reality.

If there is any hint of “no” in your thoughts, you are interacting with unreality. There is NO no in reality.

I learned this through my own grieving process almost 20 years ago, when my mother died.

She was in Hungary and I was in New Jersey. I didn’t even know she wasn’t well until after she died.

My whole grief was about what I didn’t, could not do, and what we could not do together.

All unreality.

When I came to terms with that, that all grieving is about unreality, I started to tell the truth about reality: I was in New Jersey and she was in Hungary and she died. If I am interested in doing all the things I planned to do with her: I surely will find the time and opportunity to do it with myself or with someone else.

Stabs of grief were still there, but only occasionally.

When you find what’s real, your love, your appreciation, you will have a time that if they could watch you, they would love to watch. Instead, they are watching you crying yourself into oblivion, turn to drinking, or sex, or gambling… If they could grieve, they would have a good reason now, watching you.

Grief strikes every one of us sometime or the other in our lives. Many of us find it difficult to come out of it. People get stuck in grief and find it unable to move forward. The situation is similar to a vehicle getting stuck in deep mud and not moving out of it despite frantic efforts made by people.

Coming out of grief is very important for us to progress. But several factors inhibit this process. The most important of them is the state of denial. Many people will find it difficult to accept the happening of a sad event. The obsessive belief ‘This cannot happen to me’ is so deeply entrenched in our minds that we refuse to see the reality that stands before us.

The grief can be the result of a natural event like the death of a person close to us, an unexpected financial loss etc. It can also be the result of someone acting against us. It can be an act of cheating, betrayal or just being let down by someone whom we trusted. The initial response will always be to deny the happening. This state of denial will persist for a while. We sometimes read about someone living with the corpse of a person dear to them for several days, unmindful of the stink emanating from the disintegrating body. These are examples of extreme states of denial.

The second stage is anger. Once we accept (or are forced to accept) what has happened, then the belief ‘This cannot happen to me’ turns into a question, ‘how can this happen to me?’ We show our anger either on the people whom we perceive to be the cause of our grief or on the world at large or the cruel fate for allowing this to happen. It is a kind of protest against the ‘injustice’ done to us.

The third stage is the stage of fear. Once we realize that our anger has no force and can do nothing to undo what has happened, we are likely to be gripped by a feeling of insecurity and fear. ‘If this can happen to me, what other things can happen?’ becomes the haunting feeling. This kind of thought makes us weak and depressed.

At this stage, we are so confused that we will not accept any help from others. We feel lonely and suffer our feelings in that state of loneliness.

Overcoming these stages of grief and moving ahead is the real challenge. If you can’t do it yourself, you should take help from others because what is important is that you come back to normalcy and continue with your life. You have not only tasks waiting for you but also people looking forward to your support.

Two things are important in life. Self development and maintaining good relationships. If you want to be happy and successful, you should focus on these two areas of personal success and harmonious relationships.

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Read the original article: Coming Out Of Grief – The Process And the Problem