Life is like being in a train: you can look out on the left side, the right side, the back, the front… but it won’t change that you are on a train that will arrive to its destination, no matter where you look.
Most of us live this way most of the time.
We do our jobs, we do our relationships, we do our projects, we do our lives this way.
Fulfilling? No. Enjoyable? It depends…
Ultimately we are plagued by a nagging sense that we are out of control, that no matter what we do won’t change anything. Some of us feel doomed. Some of
One of the most useful things I have ever done is this:
I would find a mentor. I offered my services to do whatever needed done. More often than not I learned useful skills through the doing. Skills that I needed for myself. And while I was around the mentor, I could learn from him.
Life needs a lot of skills to do life successfully. The opportunities to learn those skills is sparse… Because skills are not knowledge, even if they are mental, intellectual skills: they are the ability to do, to perform a skill… not to understand it.
To learn skills on your own stuff is very difficult. Why? Because you are too invested, you
When I first did the Landmark Forum (actually it was called The Forum in 1987) I remember, distinctly, experiencing, for the first time, that I am not alone.
There was so much misery shared in that room, that it caused a kind of comradery ((special friendship, or experience of being in battle together, that have experienced the crucible of combat together)), I wasn’t familiar with.
I remember thinking: If I am not alone, then it is not me… then it is something shared…
Then I didn’t have this experience until this after
What is the easiest method to shift someone’s state of being?
We already know. Children, when they cry because they hurt themselves, can be brought out of crying by directing their attention to something more interesting, more engaging.
I use it in almost every coaching conversation I have with people who are stuck in some unproductive state of being, like sadness, despair, maybe even resistance.
I wrote this article five years ago. Sometimes the way to get ahead is to go back five years and start from there.
Recently the readership of this blog has changed, not to my liking. I’d like to return to how it was five years ago, when people with sincere desire to change visited, and asked for help.
OK, here is the old article… hopefully all typos are corrected.
Thanksgiving: a time to give thanks. But to who? For What? Mundane or Significant? Habit and Duty or Privilege?
In searching what I am really thankful for, I went through all the things I could be thankful for.
Some ten years ago I learned a valuable way of looking at making life meaningful, or living a meaningful life. The teacher suggested that we pick a horizon, a direction, and then look what’s blocking the way of getting there.
Since then I saw that even seeing the horizon is blocked… Blocked by seven boulders, lined up one behind the other, blocking your view, blocking your movement.
So, in my coaching practice, when I ask people to set a direction, and they can’t see any, I am inclined to suggest that they choose the direction: living a meaningful live, or a fulfilled life… without specifying what it is.
I lead a workshop on Sunday. I had knowledge, I had strategy. I executed it. It was sloppy. What was missing?
I didn’t know. But “god” works in mysterious ways, the book I am reading has an answer that shows me what has been missing for me on Sunday and all my life.
The book, Peak, the new science of expertise, calls it Mental Representation.
Mental Representation is being able to see the finished product in your mind’s eye, and also see the process getting there, so you can anticipate missteps, and can correct, given that you
We are all special, if special means, as special as our thumbprint… But that is not special enough for you, is it?
You want to be SPECIAL… so you can be treated special… a special talent, outstanding, mind boggling, awesome, the best.
In this article I will shed light to an important phenomenon that we are all experiencing… the ITCH, that keeps us miserable, and the HORIZON that keeps us on track, sane, happy and always well.
I am reading a book, Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise. I am reading it because I want to be able to teach my students better, so they can leave behind the level of ordinary school learning, the pedestrian learning that always produces pedestrian result.
Amateurish performance, amateurish life. ((Your level of fulfillment is exponentially correlated to the amount of effort you invested. Easy: no fulfillment. Hard, lots of effort, hardship: lots of fulfillment.))