Why is rape so traumatic, while sex is so commonplace?

modern slavery numbers countries

  • Why is rape so traumatic, while sex is so commonplace?
  • Why is slave labor so traumatic, while working is so natural to us.

If you have ever been pinned down, not able to free yourself…
If you have ever been forced to do something you didn’t want to do… anything…

…your trust of life, your trust in people, your confidence has dealt a big blow.

Recovering is not guaranteed, and the wound can be torn open again quite easily.

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The importance of knowing what you want

Knowing what you want to achieve, is one thing that is missing in you. Another name for that is called “mental representation” of what you want to achieve.

Mental representation is a detailed picture, so detailed and so tangible, that you can pinpoint where reality is deviating from it… and how.

Mental representation is a spiritual capacity that sits squarely on a lot of other spiritual capacities, so obviously it is not part of the first seven most people have, not even part of the first 13, many professionals have, not even part of the first 20, that doctors have. And

On suppression… the cost of positive thinking

think-positive-collage2Whoever thought that the well-meaning positive thinking will become a prison and a sentence to a ‘no joy life’ for most who become a “practitioner” of it, about 80% of humanity at this time.

Whether you know it or not, your powers of comprehension depend on your powers of distinguishing.

In the old est training, the trainers came to the room on the first day blasting: “for you everything is the same as everything else…” and they were as accurate as accurate they would be today: you can’t tell your ass from your elbow.

This is true for everybody, including yours truly… the dif

You can have anything but not at the same time

4 door sports car: being a winnerLife, happiness, well-being, prosperity is achieved and maintained only on a narrow and hemmed-in path (the strait), the opposite of what you wish it were, the opposite you see others have, the opposite you see on television, on ads.

You have been duped. You have swallowed the lie, hook, line and sinker and you have been paying the price.

Your life is empty, purposeless, meaningless, and you have nothing to look forward to.

Last night I was pondering, instead of sleeping, ((which is quickly becoming my new habit, I mean not sleeping,)) what is the behavioral, emo

How dead are you? If your life is not a roller coaster, then you are not alive.

how-dead-are-youWhat you are, instead alive, is a walking dead, resigned, and settled for the little that, it seems, life has to offer. To you. You see others, seemingly happy, seemingly alive, and you feel regret, shame, and envy.

Your heart, where rain forests and colorful birds, and life used to live, is devastated. The lush rain forests gone, the birds gone, life: gone.

Your ups and downs are tiny, not like a roller coaster. They are about money, or noise, or that you are fat, or skinny, or that you are aging. Irrelevant circumstances.

Maybe it is about someone being sick, maybe dying… but that is also a circumstance.

One of the most useful things I have ever done for myself

One of the most useful things I have ever done is this:

I would find a mentor. I offered my services to do whatever needed done. More often than not I learned useful skills through the doing. Skills that I needed for myself. And while I was around the mentor, I could learn from him.

Life needs a lot of skills to do life successfully. The opportunities to learn those skills is sparse… Because skills are not knowledge, even if they are mental, intellectual skills: they are the ability to do, to perform a skill… not to understand it.

skillsTo learn skills on your own stuff is very difficult. Why? Because you are too invested, you

What if you have something blocking you from growing? The Seven Boulders principle

BoulderSome ten years ago I learned a valuable way of looking at making life meaningful, or living a meaningful life. The teacher suggested that we pick a horizon, a direction, and then look what’s blocking the way of getting there.

Since then I saw that even seeing the horizon is blocked… Blocked by seven boulders, lined up one behind the other, blocking your view, blocking your movement.

So, in my coaching practice, when I ask people to set a direction, and they can’t see any, I am inclined to suggest that they choose the direction: living a meaningful live, or a fulfilled life… without specifying what it is.

Knowledge, Strategy, Execution, is that enough for success?

michael-jordan-mental-representationI lead a workshop on Sunday. I had knowledge, I had strategy. I executed it. It was sloppy. What was missing?

I didn’t know. But “god” works in mysterious ways, the book I am reading has an answer that shows me what has been missing for me on Sunday and all my life.

The book, Peak, the new science of expertise, calls it Mental Representation.

Mental Representation is being able to see the finished product in your mind’s eye, and also see the process getting there, so you can anticipate missteps, and can correct, given that you

Healing… is that a negative word? Is that a sign of negativity?

negative-positiveDid you know that if you say: I need healing, what you are saying is that you are sick?

This includes inner healing, faith healing, etc…

And when you start from something wrong… like “I am sick”, you are on your way to create a context that is misery every step of the way.

If I needed to define what negativity is, it’s that “what is is wrong, and it needs to be fixed.”

Yesterday I was leading my Theta State training webinar, and I felt horrible. Partially, because I wasn’t feeling well myself. Partially because my students didn’t feel well. And yet partially because one of my students wrote to me, and I nee

Want to break out of living the life the selfish gene allows you to live?

god-man

How does mind serve the ego, and ego serves the selfish gene… Evolutionary view of team “you”

Tuesdays are my days to interface with people who are neither my readers, nor my clients.

Ordinary people. And although it is very frustrating to me, and maybe even them, I learn a lot from these unpleasant interactions.

Ever since I read The Selfish Gene, a book, and even more since I read the book “Why beautiful people have daughters” a look on life through evolutionary psychology, I am trying to match what I read with what I see, hear, and feel.

It’s a fresh new way to look at people, and a lot more forgiving than th