If I see you as beautiful… will you start to see yourself as beautiful?

happy-babyIf I see you as beautiful… will you see yourself as beautiful?
If I see you as magnificent, great, awesome… will you see yourself like I do?

Muscle test and my experience says: no.

The most beautiful women spend hours in front of the mirror staring at their imperfections… trying to hide them.

There are also beautiful women who can say: so what. They are in search of some other imperfection.

We know ourselves intimately, and rare is the person who can leave it alone… who can refrain bemoaning their faults, and stop trying to fix themselves while keeping up appearances.

The question came up because of my last article. I bet a lot of people thought I should have told the woman in the article

The biggest reason you are stuck… on a plateau or in a ditch, but stuck nevertheless

stuck on a plateauRegardless of what you do, how you do it, how good or bad your life is… you are always stuck… Stuck in some deep bad place, or stuck on a plateau… stuck is stuck.

So learning what keeps you stuck and how to unstuck yourself, at will, is one of the most important things you can do… and the sooner the better. Because being stuck is not fun.

Cognitive biases, those knee jerk reaction tiny pieces of automatic responses, are at the root of your misery.

mistake-cli
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Self trust… a linchpin capacity… or how do you develop yourself to be able to move forward?

scared-to-take-the-next-stepMany of my coaching students are at a crucial point in their lives where unless something happens, they probably won’t move forward.

Fear, unclarity, self-centeredness, belligerence…

The main attitude is different. Not one person resembles another in what seems to block their path.

It’s the coach’s brilliance, creativity, insight that will either make a difference or not. What is clear is this: unless someone or something helps them through… they will stay this side of the great barrier.

Great responsibility, but I am up for it.

What is the capacity I need to be OK with this responsibility? It is self-trust. Self trust says: I can dea

How do you see yourself? how accurate is your self-image?

skiff ... are you in sync or out of sync with your self-image?The inner view and the outer view of who you are are vastly different. Your chances for success, love, happiness depend on the accuracy of your self-image. ((self-im·age
noun
noun: self-image; plural noun: self-images

the idea one has of one’s abilities, appearance, and personality.
“sickness is an affront to one’s self-image and dignity”))

Do you know that people see you differently than you see yourself? And both you and other people see you differently than you actually are.

You may see yourself worse or better or just plain different than you really are… and so do others.

Your life would work better if the two views were closer. You’d h

Soul Correction: How do you do it?

life-blockedSoul correction is the pivoting point, the fulcrum around which a person can go from gene driven to someone who can become, potentially, an expanding human being.

Said in another way, each person has a particular and typical to their soul correction way that is stuck in a lower way of being.

The most frequent question I hear: how do you fix it? or as one my students said it: “this whole thing turns a lot of corners. I’m not sure i can even recognize all the ways i use it. Nor how to climb out of it.”

The answer will surprise you: The moment you are trying to “climb out of it” or “fix it”… you enter a world of pretense.

Both climbing out and fixing are the genes’ way of pulling the wool over your eyes. To push back

There is laziness and then there is lazy-ness. Is lazy learned helplessness?

3c9854ee298db856d690210de730d282This laziness thing came up again today.

During shopping. Is a fruit bowl worth the extra $3? It was 9.95, and it’s now 12.95… she says, and I have no idea how to answer. She has no idea what the weight of the fruit is, what the fruit would cost if you bought it and chopped it up yourself.

Just the question, out of context… is it worth it?

So what the heck is really this phenomenon: lazy, that is not lazy at all… but what is it really, if it is not actually lazy?

Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article

The problem with language, any language, is this: words don’t mean the

Knowledge is power… but not all knowledge

the-only-thing-worse-than-being-blind-is-havingPeople want to become the person they are in their dreams…

They are not that way… obviously.

Becoming that person is like being a Michelangelo at the stone quarry looking at a block of marble and seeing if the sculpture they see with their mind’s eye fits it.

If it doesn’t fit, you need a bigger block of marble.

But no matter how big a block you choose, it will take two kinds of work to get to the David of your imagination: the work of awareness and the work of chiseling.

Chiseling is the easy part… honestly. I bet you thought that was the hard part.

Live like a White Peacock… do things for the love of doing things…

side-peacockI love reading. My favorite books tear down the proverbial curtain of the Wizard of Oz.

And my favorite activities… you could guess, are when I can tear down the curtain… and actually show the naked reality of things…

I find delight in it.

I used to be a dreamer, an escape artist, an avoider.

I saw reality so distasteful, myself so unattractive and unbecoming, that I went into daydreaming, and fantasizing, and imagery to find solace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY12_P2Es3g
I haven’t become more attractive, but I have stopped hoping that being attractive, or heroic, or good, or altruistic, or brilliant, or whatever would buy me something I’d actually want.

The third thinking brain… immersion: the secret to mastery of life and growth

immersion therapyThe first thinking brain, the genes driven brain creates a life of reactivity, full of fear, full of anxiety, full of sharp turns and devastating jerks. I’ve lived there… and I hated it.

The second thinking brain, the one that evaluates, reasons, figures stuff out, is slow and plodding, and hard work. Creates real solutions, keeps you out of trouble… but not really fun.

And then there is the third thinking brain… the work of thinking is done in the background, on the back burner, while the foreground is silent, resting, or busy learning something new..

That is where I live now.

I am getting a few questions about that, and I decided to tell you as much as I can see… the mechani

Energy healing, coaching, nutritional consulting: what do they all have in common?

preacher1Yesterday I had an “energy healer” type of person on the Open Mic aka Talk to Me webinar.

Normally these webinars are really fun: we talk. Students ask questions, some great, some simple and to the point… they have fun, I have fun, and our relationship deepens.

Yesterday was a different kind of session: there was this “energy healer” guy… and he was into arguing, debating, talking about what he thinks, what he learned, blah blah blah.

He considered my webinar his forum to disseminate his wisdom. His learning. His take on the world.

Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article

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