I started to read the book by Edward Deci, “Why we do what we do. Understanding self-motivation”.
This is the first book, that I know, that defines self the way, or similarly the way I do…
To become a person, to have autonomy, self-determination, self-expression, integrity, self-motivation, the most important job is to find the self, by distinguishing what is the driver of all your actions, whether it is inner or outer.
And if it is inner… is it the self, or is it the “not-self”?
Greed, narcissism, hate… area inner motivators, but they are all the not-self. So are all the “negative” emotions, like frustration, haste, the desir
Being able to be with what isn’t nice, what isn’t pretty, what isn’t pleasant, what is risky… facing the truth, facing the tiger
I had a webinar today. It was my regular monthly public webinar… but this time I wanted to show how to measure your food and supplements… so you don’t depend on me for all your answers.
I had to use my webcam, obviously, to show what I needed to show, for muscle testing is highly physical.
I look the way I look… not well groomed, I have a barber buzz-cut my hair, it is thinning, no makeup… and I had to stare at my reflection the whole time.
I don’t even look in the mirror, not even once a day.
I didn’t like the way I looked, but that is how I look.
We are all born seeing ourselves as the center of the world. We don’t know we are the center of our world… we just don’t know there is any other vantage point to look from.
Most of us never learn it.
Like one of my students: every time I recommend anything, she answers: “I agree…”
She hasn’t crossed that threshold, that divide between infant and even toddler… absolutely and completely ignorant to the fact that using the personal vantage point is ineffective, because it is delusional.
This is also true if and when you can see that other people see things differently from how you see them, but your view is accurate and theirs is inaccurate.
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In this article I will share with you a period of my life when things happened with a lightening fast speed, and I made those things happen.
It was 1988, and around February I got fired. It was my fault… I forgot that I was supposed to lie to cover for my employer… and I let the truth slip. So I got fired.
Then I got really depressed. I got thrown out of a program I loved and was really good at in Landmark…
I had no income, no hopes for income, and I was depressed.
I started to go to a 12-step program and with a little help, ok, a lot of pushing, I did start to look what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, now that everything I knew was closed for me.
Sometimes I get really lucky. And if I am ready, prepared, open, and eager for the gift, I can get it, harvest it, and life becomes brighter, by a lot. Clearer… by a lot.
This is what happened to me this morning.
I got up at 5:20. The other option was to sleep another hour and a half… and oversleep… So I got up. Better sleep less than more (read my Depression article to see why.)
Chilly morning… sweater and pants, big glass of Energized Water… I am ready for my email… And no, I don’t stretch, I don’t exercise, I don’t meditate… I go to my email and connect. Connect to All-of-it and to my people.
The first email is from a woman who is disappointed in me because I didn’t provide