Behavioral strategies vs. beingness strategies

dying to be lovedWe all want to be loved. It’s hardwired, because being loved is the surest way to be fed, as a child, get sex as an adult, be promoted or helped as an adult.

Its purpose is survival.

The organism wants to survive, desperately.

We don’t know what that love is, but we want it. And some of us want to earn it.

I just followed a link that introduced me to Chris Farley, a fat comedian, who died… because he could not live without that love. ((Chris Farley is the fat guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngdYG

You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me or The culture of “good enough” fun

d5b9d-roosterOne of my students wrote to me this morning. He said:

Ok I finished my billing the other day but something I didn’t catch yesterday and this morning I got caught in my lie of not generating I relaxed. I now know I have to be more aware of this now.

Oh that… the hidden reason so many quit. The hidden reason why people quit before they get results. The hidden reason life is a series of flashes in the pan for most people.

It can be best illustrated with a story I have shared time and again, but it fits here perfectly.

The dog wakes up one morning a

More on joy, and how I am learning to have joy in my life

joy is an inside jobMy first foray, my first venture into joy or joyous is trying to figure out what joy is. After all we don’t know necessarily what words mean when it comes to feelings… do we. We, children, watch and learn… but in a world where what you see is a mask, what you see does not represent a feeling accurately, because the person isn’t feeling it, because the person is faking it, the looks don’t help.

My hunch is that joy is fabricated with the intention to cause craving for it, to cause an acute sense of the lack of it.

Actually, when I watch people who enjoy something, they

You don’t have to deserve something to be deserving

agnosticLet me ask you something: do you have to deserve a body? Did you have to deserve to be able to read?

No. Deserving is much more basic, and much more profound than that kind of deserving, which would equate the word with earning.

Earning is a mercantile world’s word: it measures your work, or your merchandise against the asking price… earning.

But deserving is different, regardless how crazy that word drove me when I was a kid. My kid brother whining that he deserved whatever he was whining about.

I didn’t think I deserved anything, so he asserting that he de

What are skills? I bet you have no clue… or you would be building them…

7-Skill-Building-Activities-for-your-5-Year-Old-Boy-2What are skills?

Don’t feel stupid, 99% of all people have no idea what skills are. This is one of the secrets that make people stuck in the dead end job they are in… not knowing what skills are, and not knowing what their skills are.

Skills are abilities, true and tried abilities you have used and used them well enough to succeed.

Skill means: you can do something. well enough.

Driving is a skill. Cooking is a skill, Shoppin

The spirit wants only that there be flying

wild-turkey-flyingYou can’t win the bets you don’t make. You can’t win the arguments you don’t engage in. You can’t win without taking risks.

If you look at me, and can see, you’ll see a person with severe dyslexia, serious holes in her brain from two episodes of brain damage.

What does this mean? This means that I make a lot of mistakes, mistakes most people would not make…

Couple that with a quick-start personality, and you get a lot of failures, a lot of mistakes, a lot of screw-up… and, surprisingly a lot of wins.

I

How superiority blocks you from growing. Are you perceptive, astute?

not-perceptiveI do a lot of “work” that doesn’t look like work.

For example, asking the question: Is being perceptive a capacity?

It turns out that it is. It is on a scale of one to 100… very perceptive, somewhat perceptive, not perceptive.

Cats are not perceptive. Partially because their eyes are calibrated to only notice movement. A non-moving tasty bit of food, mouse, bug is like doesn’t exist for a cat. That is probably why they only eat food that stinks to my human nose… ugh. They can’t see it, can’t judge it from its look, color, etc.

Not perceptive.

So,

Getting really smart is scary

flowers for algernoon, a tale of getting smartOne thing the book Flowers for Algernon did not prepare me for is how scary it is to get too smart too quickly.

I have been experimenting with different capacities… what they do, what behavior, what insight they possible.

One of these capacities increased my capacity (it had been turned on, but not ful

An Atlantic article: What does ISIS really want?

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What ISIS Really Wants

from the Atlantic

The Islamic State is no mere collection of psychopaths. It is a religious group with carefully considered beliefs, among them that it is a key agent of the coming apocalypse. Here’s what that means for its strategy—and for how to stop it.

What is the Islamic State?

Where did it come from, and what are its intentions? The simplicity of these questions can be deceiving, and few Western leaders seem to know the answers. In December, The New York Times published confidential comme

The fallacy that anything that is Indian is good for you

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I have a new client. 35 year old male from Central Africa.
I suggested that he posts his food diary and mood diary every day, so we can figure out how to get him well.
So far there are intense symptoms of yeast die-off, once we removed sources of sugar and starches.
Going deeper, I found…