Behavioral strategies vs. beingness strategies

dying to be lovedWe all want to be loved. It’s hardwired, because being loved is the surest way to be fed, as a child, get sex as an adult, be promoted or helped as an adult.

Its purpose is survival.

The organism wants to survive, desperately.

We don’t know what that love is, but we want it. And some of us want to earn it.

I just followed a link that introduced me to Chris Farley, a fat comedian, who died… because he could not live without that love. ((Chris Farley is the fat guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngdYG

The difference between feeling confident and being confident… or how you put your life in the hands of a liar

feelings-are-just-visitors-let-them-come-and-go-quote-1It’s Christmas Eve. Strong Southern wind… unusual noises… and bouts of wanting to weep. WTF? There is nothing wrong with my life, I am not connected to anyone in particular, and yet.

I muscle test if it is the Dark Side emotion transmission, and yes, it is…

Feelings come from who knows where, and yet, YOU are basing all your decisions on feelings. How utterly misguided is that?

If the feeling were: you can do it, you’d jump i

Power tip: locate yourself… in reality

locate-yourselfOne of the things that immediately de-fuses an explosive situation, being frazzled, stress, etc. is accurately identifying what is going on, where you are at.

It takes stepping outside of the situation, looking at it from there, to identify what is going on.

You may have over committed… and so you are overwhelmed
You may have made promises without consulting the people you live with, and so your are out of integrity
You may be trying to prove that you are special… so you are in greed

etc.

Once you see exactly what the situation is, restoring peace, restoring calm, restori

Cinematherapy: what does it do? It teaches you to feel.

FeelingsMovies with good actors do it better…

American actors are mostly useless, but it may be because American directors have no empathy? And yet some of the most missing feelings I got from American TV series I have watched through Netflix. I have recently learned family love, and being able to choose, ultimately, what is win-win… in a series I am watching now, Blue Bloods about a Irish family of cops in New York City. I also had a peek at something I didn’t know I wanted to feel: how religion is for people who have faith…

I don’t know if it is the actors or the di

As long as you are stuck, no new capacities will be working… Cinematherapy anyone?

Inside-Out-Study-Guide-683x1024Most people are stuck… movement is not possible. It can be total or it can be partial.

To see where you are stuck is difficult, because the cause, the stuck part can be several layers deep.

A skilled coach or therapist may fail to find the linchpin issue, because in the normal course of a therapy, it is talking, the words, that are masking it.

One of my students in the Reclaim program has chosen to work with the idea of inspiring movies. Using movies to unstuck pe

It is all about where the finger is pointing.

revolutionwordsActivism, campaigning

We all want change. The circumstances to change, others to change… We want people to change to what we deem the correct or good way to be.

We want reality to be different.

We put our attention to what’s wrong, in our view, what is missing, in our view.

In essence, we want the world to conform to our norms.

I am describing, to a more or less degree, humanity… though a segment of the population is very loud about it, very verbal about it: activists and campaigners.

The number one ingredient to become an

I activate a new capacity… will it change your life?

AYJG8J StopwatchI activate a new capacity. If you used it, a whole new world would open up for you… But for you nothing happened… But what just happened?

When I activate a new capacity, you have an opportunity. You either take it or you don’t.

Opportunities come with a count-down-timer… They expire. That’s why the phrase says: window of opportunity…

You continue doing what you have always done, exactly the way you have always done it.

What happens? The opportunity closes. That’s it. Good bye.

There are 160 capacities that you could, potentially, activate.

I wa

What if you only have seven capacities? Or eight… or even nine?

sports don't normally activate any higher capacitiesThe less capacities you have the closer you are to the bottom.

Asking what those capacities are, those seven is a little dumb, but just think about it.

What does everyone who went to school has to have as capacity? Reading, using language, i.e. writing ans speaking, adding numbers, recognizing faces, smells, sounds, telling the time, basic stuff.

You may be able to cook.
You may be able to clean.
You may be able drive…

But they are not capacities: they use capacities, but they are behaviors…

Parents

Why can’t you change? What is holding you back?

Why you can't change: to change, you need to own the past and complete itIn spite of The sight, and other capacities newly available to you, you don’t seem to be able to change…

You have been unsuccessful getting their guidance, getting your information from outside of the mind.

This manifests, among others, in the inability to muscle test correctly.

The question is why?

The phenomenon, what actually seems to happen is this: you understand where to look, how to look, and you nod rapidly. You bring great examples to show how you just succeeded in using the new capacity… but I can smell the mischief… you are trying to throw me off my tra

Lack of opportunities… giving opportunities… all myth… Dark Side suggestion

trading-placesMost people that complain about lack of opportunities would fumble the ball if they got it… Fumble means: drop the ball.

The illusion is that what is missing is an opportunity, the funding, the money to start something… is an illusion, and it is a very harmful illusion. It makes you look at blame… not yourself.

Similar to this: support is missing. If your parents, spouse, the society supported you… blah blah blah.

It’s all illusion… as in a lie. Bull crap.

There was an incident in my life that I go back to often.

In 1992 I had a big space at the back of my office, that was unused, but I pa