We all have multiple personalities… How does your delusional self impact your life?

We all have at least two distinct and recognizable selves that we switch back and forth between.

In this article we’ll look at intelligence, but we could also look at the character, the attitude, the moral fortitude of the selves… but because I look at the world through the frame of smart and stupid, and only secondarily through loyal/disloyal, I’ll write this article on the intelligence level of your two selves.

Now, let me start with a statement: there is nothing wrong with being stupid. As long as you know and embrace that you are stupid.

Charly in Flowers for Algernon<

Do you feel responsible for what others say about you?

Soul correction, responsibility, what is yours and what is not

First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt said it best: what others think about me is none of my business.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2h2ZixoCCWI

For most this is the hardest thing to learn.

We grow up in a family or community that consider their “sacred duty and honor” to call us names, to assign responsibility to us.

They treat their pets more fairly. They allow the pet to do what pets do… but don’t give the same rights to humans, children.

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Make your plane go where you want it to go…

Make your plane go where you want it to go…

This is probably the most shocking sentence in the whole 67 step program.

I literally don’t know anyone who lives that way.

People try to succeed, try a diet, try this and try that… while their plane crashes in every area.

So what is the difference between who are like that, who are on their way to become that kind of person, and others who never ever land their plane on the landing strip?

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Why Is It So Hard to Change? A new (for me) look at what’s under the hood…

changeWhy is it so difficult to change? I am in the business of causing change… Causing you to cause change for yourself… Because ultimately YOU cause the change, YOUR actions cause the change… I am pointing you towards the actions …

The original sin… how you can stop paying, how can you stop suffering?

As I promised, the next step in creating your life that discouragement is only a rare guest in, instead of a tenant…

I am going to start with a somewhat gossipy story: my conversation with my mentor, Gyõzõ Margóczi, the brilliant engineer who wrote the books “Feelings” and “Words”.

I suggested that he thinks about developing a feedback device, that gives you valuable feedback on your feelings… because being in touch and understanding the dynamics of feelings is the hardest thing for a regular human.

And everyone is a regular human… 🙁

His answer, pay attention, was that there must surely be a rich man, like Bill Gates, who would want to stand behin

Without trust there cannot be humility… Without humility there is no growth

As we saw, the two capacities, humility: (saying: I don’t know), and seeing the big picture/looking at the thing inside the big picture, are the most predictive of people who can and will correct their faulty mental picture of reality.

Of these humility is primary.

Humility is what gets us out of our head, and makes us look again.

The mood of this: maybe I didn’t see it right!

We all know people who didn’t look twice, and walked into a trap, walked into disaster with their heads high, no idea that the trap is there.

And how you do anything is how you do everything. So if that is you: it is all over the place for you, in every area of your life.

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The crash and burn style of life… are you guilty of it?

The hardest thing for people is to find the middle ground, the sustainable, the mean. The smooth. The life they claim they want. Everyone, on and off the internet, is trying to monopolize your time.

It is a lot like walking on a rope… any movement, leaning to the left immediately needs to be balanced to the right.

In rope dancing the consequences are clear and immediate.

In plate spinning: the consequences are clear and immediate.

In life, even in business, the consequences are removed, timewise, and unless you are astute with a very wide cone of vision, you don’t know what you are causing with each and every movement you make…

No movement is also a movement, by the way.

Change… The hardest thing. Why? Do you really want to change? I didn’t think so.

If you wanted to change… if you actually wanted to change… so your life can change too… where would you make the change?

I just had a conversation with one of my students who shows promise to be able to change.

On a side note: where do I look when I assess who will change and who will not?

I will look at two places:

  • 1. do they argue or offer explanations or excuses when they get feedback from me. Argument, explanations, and excuses are the sign of a foolish person who won’t take feedback, and either won’t change, or will do it to either curry approval from you, or to prove you wrong.
  • 2. An immediate testing tool is the 5-question exercise. If they do it, that is a

Tree of Knowledge path to life… Tree of Life path to Life. What’s the difference?

evolution-horseAs people round the steps in the 67 step coaching program, as they begin the second cycle, they start to see new things, or they keep on seeing the same things…

Some see the things from memory. Comparing. “Knowing”. And some from actually seeing.

Step two (in the 67 steps) introduces the idea of the Selfish Gene, evolutionary stable strategy.

This point is where people diverge: one in the direction of the Tree of Knowledge, the other in the direction of the Tree of Life.

It is really amazing to watch them go, unaware of the other path.

I will illustrate this with their own words… but before I do, I want to set down some principles:

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Casting errors in movies and what you can learn from them for your life

my-left-footWhat is wrong with movies, TV series, that I can’t stomach… or barely?

I am talking about good stories. I am talking about shows with good or passable actors, good directing… And yet the show is scarcely enjoyable because the character doesn’t fit. the inner world of the character is off… tells a different story.

Like the serial killer in The Fall… more about it later.

I have been pondering this for the past few months when there are less and less stuff to watch, and I have less and less ambition to fill my day with work.

And finally I got it.

In fact some movie director lead me to it. He said: I prefer to let an actor do