Do you have an integrated life or a bunch of things you do?

integrated-lifeOne step in the 67 step program is to look what area of life isn’t integrated into your life… At first I could not think of anything, but then I had an insight: I started to look at what doesn’t get done… and I saw that anything that is not integrated into my life… doesn’t get done… or if it is, it’s a chore, drudgery.

cleaning, throwing stuff away, etc.

Why? Because your life has a purpose, probably hidden from your view. And that is your life, the life you want. The life you consider life, living… And everything else is death…

So before you integra

Astute, foggy, clueless… how many distinct things can you tell apart?

AstuteSo far 46 people read the article about the exercise for self love.

One of them actually did what I did, followed my example, and wrote to me about his experience. He is astute ((having or showing an ability to accurately assess situations or people)).

So what did the rest of them do? Some of them, at least, hugged themselves, and felt the pain or the sadness.

Did any of them have a conversation? Yes. Some of them.

So why do I say they didn’t do what I did? Because they didn’t catch that I didn’t talk about what’s wrong with me…

What makes soap operas addictive? What are YOU hooked on?

got-its-hooks-in-youVery “interesting” experience. I watched the first year of Dexter, and although I wanted to watch all episodes, the first year was not addictive.

But I had a premonition about the rest of the series.

Made up by skilled television writers, I knew it was going to be something dangerous to my well-being.

Unneeded complications, many different side-story lines, all dramatic and irrelevant, all stories I would not watch Netflix for. But all of these side-stories had a claw as sharp as the tiny hooks of burr… of v

You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me or The culture of “good enough” fun

d5b9d-roosterOne of my students wrote to me this morning. He said:

Ok I finished my billing the other day but something I didn’t catch yesterday and this morning I got caught in my lie of not generating I relaxed. I now know I have to be more aware of this now.

Oh that… the hidden reason so many quit. The hidden reason why people quit before they get results. The hidden reason life is a series of flashes in the pan for most people.

It can be best illustrated with a story I have shared time and again, but it fits here perfectly.

The dog wakes up one morning a

You don’t have to deserve something to be deserving

agnosticLet me ask you something: do you have to deserve a body? Did you have to deserve to be able to read?

No. Deserving is much more basic, and much more profound than that kind of deserving, which would equate the word with earning.

Earning is a mercantile world’s word: it measures your work, or your merchandise against the asking price… earning.

But deserving is different, regardless how crazy that word drove me when I was a kid. My kid brother whining that he deserved whatever he was whining about.

I didn’t think I deserved anything, so he asserting that he de

What are skills? I bet you have no clue… or you would be building them…

7-Skill-Building-Activities-for-your-5-Year-Old-Boy-2What are skills?

Don’t feel stupid, 99% of all people have no idea what skills are. This is one of the secrets that make people stuck in the dead end job they are in… not knowing what skills are, and not knowing what their skills are.

Skills are abilities, true and tried abilities you have used and used them well enough to succeed.

Skill means: you can do something. well enough.

Driving is a skill. Cooking is a skill, Shoppin

In life you are either a nerd or you are a floater

watch the movie gattacaAre you a nerd? ((One description I found on the internet is this: a NERD is an individual of vast intelligence and curiosity coupled with a natural knack for academics and discovery. You not only appreciate technology, biology, and all the other ‘ology’s – you know what they mean and how they work, too! While Geeks are busy flooding comic-cons and using the internet while pretending to know how it works, you are busy coding the damn internet and earning your Masters or Doctorate (if you don’t already have it/both). Of course t

The Law of Action

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There is a huge misunderstanding that most of you are the victim of: thinking that you need to be ready to do something, that you need to get rid of fear or discomfort to do something.

One of my clients is dealing with an issue. To solve the issue, I asked him to talk to people in the same kind of business as his, to pick their brains what to do in the winters when there is no snow… i.e. there is no business, no revenue… and he still has to pay his employees.

He is afraid. I get that. But he is not doing wha

More on being locked out… I am handing you the key

thumbSome 10 years ago I did a year long course, called Partnership Explorations. It was intense, incomprehensible, and difficult.

Yet, it had an aspect that caused me to have an insight that was directly responsible for the breakthrough that you live with me, now.

The course was some talk, and a lot of collages.

A collage is an artwork… normally. But in the Partnership Explorations course it was a tool to get a new insight about life, about ourselves.

In one collage I wanted to show that I was locked out. I was locked out of the kind of life I saw people enjoy: parties, kissing, love.

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What if you only have seven capacities? Or eight… or even nine?

sports don't normally activate any higher capacitiesThe less capacities you have the closer you are to the bottom.

Asking what those capacities are, those seven is a little dumb, but just think about it.

What does everyone who went to school has to have as capacity? Reading, using language, i.e. writing ans speaking, adding numbers, recognizing faces, smells, sounds, telling the time, basic stuff.

You may be able to cook.
You may be able to clean.
You may be able drive…

But they are not capacities: they use capacities, but they are behaviors…

Parents