If I see you as beautiful… will you see yourself as beautiful?
If I see you as magnificent, great, awesome… will you see yourself like I do?
Muscle test and my experience says: no.
The most beautiful women spend hours in front of the mirror staring at their imperfections… trying to hide them.
There are also beautiful women who can say: so what. They are in search of some other imperfection.
We know ourselves intimately, and rare is the person who can leave it alone… who can refrain bemoaning their faults, and stop trying to fix themselves while keeping up appearances.
The question came up because of my last article. I bet a lot of people thought I should have told the woman in the article
Regardless of what you do, how you do it, how good or bad your life is… you are always stuck… Stuck in some deep bad place, or stuck on a plateau… stuck is stuck.
So learning what keeps you stuck and how to unstuck yourself, at will, is one of the most important things you can do… and the sooner the better. Because being stuck is not fun.
Cognitive biases, those knee jerk reaction tiny pieces of automatic responses, are at the root of your misery.
Many of my coaching students are at a crucial point in their lives where unless something happens, they probably won’t move forward.
Fear, unclarity, self-centeredness, belligerence…
The main attitude is different. Not one person resembles another in what seems to block their path.
It’s the coach’s brilliance, creativity, insight that will either make a difference or not. What is clear is this: unless someone or something helps them through… they will stay this side of the great barrier.
Great responsibility, but I am up for it.
What is the capacity I need to be OK with this responsibility? It is self-trust. Self trust says: I can dea
As I have mentioned, I have signed up to an expensive course that teaches a marketing method to pick the right people that are a good match for what I am attempting to do: take a group of people to the level of human being, the next evolutionary level for the species.
Signing up opened a can of worms.
Several daily emails, and a slew of offers, all beyond my need, all beyond my budget.
Today, a week into this campaign, the fifteenth video, the offer is 20 thousand dollars… and I am ready to throw in the towel.
It is like being in a restaurant,
…asking for a bowl of soup… That is what I wanted, that is what I can afford.
I have another word for allowing for you, that has always worked much better for me than the word allowing.
The other word is “having room for”…
You see, if you live in tight quarters, than everything that intrudes it, everything that you didn’t design to be there creates clutter, hinders you in your movement, cramps your style.
If you move into a larger house, that maybe even has a basement and an attic, and a few extra bedrooms, you have room for a lot of stuff… even for a lot of stuff that you neither need or want.
But you can afford the luxury to let those things be, you have them, they don’t have you… meaning they don’t have your goat.
To my surprise, people have no idea that their worth a damn factor has been neglected since they were little babies.
They get “encouragement” to not know that there is such a thing… and then they grow up to be seriously not worth a damn, and they suffer.
How does it work?
If you are consistently praised for being a good girl, a pretty girl, a smart girl… you’ll think that that is what there is to it. That is your ticket to the good life, to paradise.
This is an article I snatched from the New York Times…
What you don’t know is this: you teach your children to color inside the lines, never experiment, never make mistakes, to live in fear, and to experience little. To not even experience what they experience. To be little soldiers that will make you look good, while you attempt to live your life and give as little attention to the kids as you can.
Hell on earth…
One one hand you are protective, on the other you neglect them… And then you fell guilty.
Just look back at your childhood. You are stunted, and your children are stunted.
This article explains some of why… some, not all.
In the article of my own that I will publish today (it’s not ready yet) I will add some more clarity.
Caring for children shouldn’t be like carpentry, with a finished product in mind. We should grow our children, like gardeners
The article asking: where do you look to define your value got a lot of “hits” and comments.
Reading the answers I saw that some fundamental distinctions are missing, in spite of the fact that I have written about all of those before, on this blog.
So after reading the article about the three levels of valu