Look for it where it is, not where the light is on

streetlight-effect-2Everyone is looking for the lost key under the lamppost…  The Streetlight Effect ((The streetlight effect is a type of observational bias where people only look for whatever they are searching by looking where it is easiest.[1][2][3][4] The search itself may be referred to as a drunkard’s search.

Taken from an old joke about a drunkard who is searching for something he has lost, the parable is told several ways but typically includes the following details:

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Is it change your really want?

Change vs. what you really want

We all say we want to change. Change ourselves, our financial situation, our habits.

Some of us only use the word because we don’t know how to say what we mean. But most of us literally mean: change.

But there is a problem with the phenomenon: change. It actually gets you more of what you are changing.

It sounds like an oxymoron. More of what I don’t want? Yeah, that’s right. More of what you don’t want.

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How to get love, beauty, magic back into your life?

Recently I found myself finding my life blah. So I set out to regain my will to live… because with blah comes no will to leave, much like when you are forced to eat tasteless food, you lose your will to eat.

I also noticed that the color faded from my language. People stopped complimenting me on the turn of phrases, the expressions, the metaphors I used… because I stopped using them.

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Christmas, alone, my empath mother, being the true empath, and getting to no thing

As far as I can see back, Christmas was a painful reminder that I am alone.

I always wanted to go home… home was a place where I longed to be, but I had no idea what that would be like. Surely where I lived wasn’t home. Surely the people I was with left me feeling alone.

Later, relationship made my life busy, but I still felt alone. Not envying others, not something wrong, just alone. Like you are on the top of a mountain, and no one to share the experience with.

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