Are you tough enough to deserve the good life?

unpopular-decisions

“To get what you want, you have to deserve what you want. The world is not yet a crazy enough place to reward a whole bunch of undeserving people.“

I am continuing the inquiry into curiosity… the intrinsic motivation of humans… how you lost it, how to rekindle it… and what might be in the way.

I am going to use myself, because curiosity is so rare, and so relatively unconscious, unobserved, and unacknowledged, that I don’t even know who I could ask about their own experience… Let’s hope that this state of affairs will change soon.

The hectic, information driven culture in which we live, where everyone considers themselves eligible to post

If I see you as beautiful… will you start to see yourself as beautiful?

happy-babyIf I see you as beautiful… will you see yourself as beautiful?
If I see you as magnificent, great, awesome… will you see yourself like I do?

Muscle test and my experience says: no.

The most beautiful women spend hours in front of the mirror staring at their imperfections… trying to hide them.

There are also beautiful women who can say: so what. They are in search of some other imperfection.

We know ourselves intimately, and rare is the person who can leave it alone… who can refrain bemoaning their faults, and stop trying to fix themselves while keeping up appearances.

The question came up because of my last article. I bet a lot of people thought I should have told the woman in the article

Telling the truth will set you free. The counter intuitive path to happiness

Some people won’t adhere to a diet that would make them healthy.

Stupidity? Yes, stupidity on a very deep selfish gene level.

It’s not that they don’t understand the price they are paying.

It’s that they make choices that the genes are making: not making waves, not bringing attention to themselves, not being different, fitting in is more important than being healthy, having energy, feeling good, calm, intelligent.

Almost everything “social” is gene directed. I say “almost” because I am humble. I don’t know any social that is NOT gene directed, but there could be, maybe.

So what do the genes want?

The genes want to survive, and they want to pass into a new generation.

Being liked, fitting in are

Tell me your problems and I’ll know the size of your life…

offended-3When your life is about you… when your life is about others… when your life is about ideas.. these are different sizes of a life you can have. In this article we’ll examine the effects of these levels on your peace of mind, level of fulfillment, the quality of your life.

We’ll start with me… and my experience.

In 1988 January 1, around 3 minutes after the ball dropped on Times Square, I declared something that ultimately turned my life around.

Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article


Then periodically, since then, I made declarations in a similar vein, that clarified and solidified that historical declaration in 1988.

My original de

Opportunity favors the one who is prepared… or do things when they are easy

ff59a96Business, marketing, and other business things are not my favorite things to learn or do. Even though I come from a family where three out of five (I have two brothers) have MBAs, and my father was god of the topic in Hungary…

I gave up going for it one credit short: an enemy of my father would not let me pass an exam…

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

~Thomas A. Edison

I don’t like these topics because they need organization, creating systems, and I am not good at them. I tighten up when I have to do things I am not good at.

I could learn to be good at them, but everything comes at a cost, time and brain cells taken away from what I am

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

soccer-ball-in-the-faceWhat I didn’t say in the last article about conscious awareness and discipline, is probably as important as what I did say.

Lots of people argue that your subconscious or your ego are more important than what you are aware of consciously, but that may not be true.

Your ego, your drive given to you by the genes and their selfish desire that is so often counter to your conscious desire: unless you know thine enemy, the enemy will always win.

Your decisions from the past that are now not in the conscious part of your brain: ditto. If you don’t know at least the most important decisions that have taken you to where you are… then they will continue to run the show, that is your life

If you are one of my students who isn’t getting better… Or not as fast as you hoped you would

did-not-come-to-stop-hereIf you are one of my students who isn’t getting better… Or not as fast as you hoped you would, you should ask the question: Why you won’t follow a system, why you lie, why you’ll never amount to anything worthwhile?

This article will attempt to point you to some answers…

Our tendency to socialize and spend time with people with our lesser (at least in our not so humble opinion) is so strong, and so “normal”, that I expect you not to recognize it in yourself.

Why? Because the desire to do that does not come from our conscious self, it comes from our “other than conscious” self, the selfish gene.

Download the pdf versio

The sad guru… Paramahansa Yogananda

Possession-of-materialYogananda… I have measured his vibration at different times, in different contexts, always having a different number come up. So today I spent some time in his space… to see what’s up.

Paramahansa Yogananda was a sad person. For two reasons, the two sides of the same coin: he had something that he wanted to share, and it wasn’t shareable.

His words are simply his idea what made him the way he was, and the words did not communicate. Did not do for others what they, he thought,

Are you healthy enough to have meaning to your life? Purpose?

This is my quest: to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far.

Meaning: Following THAT Star. The alternative is Meaningless
This is my quest: to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far.

Humans are strange animals: they need meaning to make their lives to feel more than just existing. They need purpose to give a backbone, to give direction, to transform a life of prose to poetry.

But life is, in itself, empty and meaningless… so how do you find the meaning, how do you find the purpose?

I was 38 years old when meaning first entered

It’s my 45th anniversary that I graduated from architecture school. I am old…

01-livewelllakewoodIt put me into a walk-down memory lane mood, and I revisited some events in my life I haven’t remembered in decades.

For example the only person I ever saw as compatible, left after a few weeks, without saying good bye.

I could grieve it, but I think it was fortunate. I loved him too much…

When you love someone or something too much, you put your own self interest on hold, and become a slave to that person or thing…

In hindsight this is why I was so disproportionately captivated and mortified by a “Criminal Minds” episode, where the wo