One of the most surprising thing in the world of humans is that humans can’t tell if they are smart or not. This error leads to lives that are not fulfilled, filled with fear, trepidation, or on the other extreme: boasting and disappointment. ((This is a horrible thing. Do you know what is the worst thing about me for me?
I bet you would not be able to guess, so I’ll share it with you.
I expect you to be smart. I really do. And I am always surprised when I find out that you are not.
In my world smart means: quick and accurate on the uptake. See with your own eyes. Understand and be able to see things for what they are, without me pointing it out.
It comes up for me 4-5 times a year, to ponder who had the true grit… the little girl or the big drunkard marshal? ((One of the main reason I love the Coen brothers in this movie is because they give opportunities to famous actors who never had a chance to prove they can act, an opportunity to act. Like Matt Damon. OMG…
How to Get Your Mind to Read ((article by Daniel T. Willingham (@DTWillingham) is a professor of psychology at the University of Virginia and the author, most recently, of “The Reading Mind: A Cognitive Approach to Understanding How the Mind Reads.” Republished from the New York Times
Photo: Credit Lilli Carré))
Americans are not good readers. Many blame the ubiquity of digital media. We’re too busy on Snapchat to read, or perhaps internet skimming has made us incapable of reading serious prose. But Americans’ trouble with reading predates digital technologies. The problem is not bad reading habits engendered by smartphones, but bad education habits engendered by a misunderstanding of how the mind reads.
As I promised, the next step in creating your life that discouragement is only a rare guest in, instead of a tenant…
I am going to start with a somewhat gossipy story: my conversation with my mentor, Gyõzõ Margóczi, the brilliant engineer who wrote the books “Feelings” and “Words”.
I suggested that he thinks about developing a feedback device, that gives you valuable feedback on your feelings… because being in touch and understanding the dynamics of feelings is the hardest thing for a regular human.
And everyone is a regular human… 🙁
His answer, pay attention, was that there must surely be a rich man, like Bill Gates, who would want to stand behin
I just realized that I left out one of the most frequent energy leaks, need leaks from the last article.
And that is the minuscule pleasure you gain when you feel clever, when you feel you got one over someone, when you are told you are clever.
Or maybe that you are pretty. Or maybe some other compliment, that you are put together. Or that you do a good job.
Any compliment that you find important.
You are the guy/gal who, when you do the five questions exercise, you pay attention to the positive feedback. When you listen to me: you are waiting for the positive feedback… and hear none of the negative, or if you do, you grieve about it, but won’t change a thing.
If I asked you: how many percentage of what I say or write in my articles actually lands, accurately in you?
Experiments and tests show that if you have the right attitude, high level of interest, and you are coherent: you can receive as much as 7% of what is being said. Word based communication.
Re-listening or re-reading the same thing won’t improve the percentage much. Why? Because what you think is there replaces, effectively, what you hear or read the second time.
This is what is normal.
What is also normal is to believe that you got 100%. And for the speaker to think that you can get more than 7%.
A lot of years ago a guy, another participant stood up in a Landmark Education seminar and shared something that has impacted my life to this day.
Here is what he said:
“The other day I was lying on the couch, working on a report for my workplace.
I didn’t like what I wrote, so I crumpled the paper and pitched it to the waste basket that was on the other side of the room. After missing it several times, my wife picked up the waste basket and put it right next to me.”
That was all he said. I was shaken to the core. Move the things you need close to where you need them… Hah.
This is famed ad writer, Roy William’s article, but I know you should read it… You don’t feel you need it, but if you can turn around and actually need it, and follow what it teaches, it will make you a winner. A rarity.
An it is not only about jobs, it is also about anything that involves other people. Whether you are a college student struggling to write your dissertation in Poland, or a doorman in New York dreaming of stage success. You may be an accountant in Sweden, or a policy writer in Virginia.
Maybe an earth moving company owner in Minnesota? A recent graduate of Chinese descent? Or me.
We all need to learn what he says, or else…
If you can’t recognize yourself, send me an email… I’ll he
This article reveals the tip of a significant iceberg.
Icebergs are huge chunks of ice, shaped like a pyramid. The tip of that pyramid shows above the water level, the rest of the iceberg is underwater wreaking havoc. ((The other way to illustrate this is by looking at a duck… calm, collected, smooth… but under the water level the legs of the duck work feverishly. ))
With most things in life, the invisible part, what is under the water level is what works against you, unless you bring
The hardest thing for people is to find the middle ground, the sustainable, the mean. The smooth. The life they claim they want. Everyone, on and off the internet, is trying to monopolize your time.
It is a lot like walking on a rope… any movement, leaning to the left immediately needs to be balanced to the right.
In rope dancing the consequences are clear and immediate.
In plate spinning: the consequences are clear and immediate.
In life, even in business, the consequences are removed, timewise, and unless you are astute with a very wide cone of vision, you don’t know what you are causing with each and every movement you make…