It’s New Year’s day. Billions of people give and get strokes… ((A stroke (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more you get the less your spine shrivels up on you…
Experiments show that babies stop thriving if they have insufficient social transactions… Other experiments how that rats are the same way. But the most surprising thing is: for a rat (and I guess for a human) an electric shock, a slap on the face, and insult also count as a stroke… preventing their spine from shriveling up.
My personal interpretation is: as long as life tells you you exist, you want
And how it doesn’t mean to please everybody, or even one person. You’ll see…
Our language is so corrupt, it is hard to find a person who means what they say… I mean the words. You’ll see what meeting others’ expectation is… Not what’s on the illustrations… 🙁
The most willfully ignored need, in my experience, is the need to meet others’ expectation.
What prevents you from honoring that need is a misunderstanding. Or we could say: the mis-weighing bias. All biases are misunderstanding how things work, shortcuts that give you a different result than what you expected.
In not honoring but ignoring this need, your chances for success, your chances for love, for self-expression, for happiness are so greatly diminishe
If you wanted to change… if you actually wanted to change… so your life can change too… where would you make the change?
I just had a conversation with one of my students who shows promise to be able to change.
On a side note: where do I look when I assess who will change and who will not?
I will look at two places:
1. do they argue or offer explanations or excuses when they get feedback from me. Argument, explanations, and excuses are the sign of a foolish person who won’t take feedback, and either won’t change, or will do it to either curry approval from you, or to prove you wrong.
2. An immediate testing tool is the 5-question exercise. If they do it, that is a
Parents are not trained educators. They don’t allow you to be a child: they only care about themselves… not you, no matter how much they pretend, even to themselves. You, as a parent, are the same way…
You would be better off living in a children’s home where everyone is trained in personal growth.
Because parents are much like those fraudulent personal growth, get rich, get well and thin, “take a tablet and become forever young/pain free/etc.” marketers.
Why? I guess a stupid person cannot teach another to be smart.
What is smart? It is smart to Learn from Life. Life has been around, successfully, way longer than you and me.
This morning I chose to listen to the memo, instead of reading it.
The memo was dramatized, much like a radio advertising… Radio advertising I haven’t heard in many years.
http://goodies.wizardacademypress.com/MMM161017-RightWay2Criticize.mp3
The first thinking brain, the genes driven brain creates a life of reactivity, full of fear, full of anxiety, full of sharp turns and devastating jerks. I’ve lived there… and I hated it.
The second thinking brain, the one that evaluates, reasons, figures stuff out, is slow and plodding, and hard work. Creates real solutions, keeps you out of trouble… but not really fun.
And then there is the third thinking brain… the work of thinking is done in the background, on the back burner, while the foreground is silent, resting, or busy learning something new..
That is where I live now.
I am getting a few questions about that, and I decided to tell you as much as I can see… the mechani
When your life is about you… when your life is about others… when your life is about ideas.. these are different sizes of a life you can have. In this article we’ll examine the effects of these levels on your peace of mind, level of fulfillment, the quality of your life.
We’ll start with me… and my experience.
In 1988 January 1, around 3 minutes after the ball dropped on Times Square, I declared something that ultimately turned my life around.
Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article
Then periodically, since then, I made declarations in a similar vein, that clarified and solidified that historical declaration in 1988.
..that is one of the disappointing things you learn when you do work with me. I won’t feed you balooney like “you are a spiritual being having a human experience…” and other garden variety horse manure.
The other half-sentence is just as disappointing: “you can’t get out of this life alive…”
These two half-sentences address 70% of the popular delusions of humanity.
When you internalize these truly, when you start to be energized by them then your vibration will jump 50 points or more.
Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article
People throw around the words: self-expression, but I have never found a person who knows what it means.
Most people look how you express yourself not what it is you express… This article is about “what” not “how”… What is the Self you express with everything… your life, your job, your relationships, with your music, poetry, and your life.
There are two selves, and the reason life doesn’t work for most of us is because the two selves are not connected in any way. Self 1: your genes, your desire to survive and procreate. Self 2: your human desire to be higher than just your genes… to live your higher self.