This article shows the state of official science for emotional intelligence.
Psychologists are not interested in the groundbreaking work developed in the books Feelings and Words…
Although when you can already recognize your feelings, their inner dynamics, what they want you to do, what trap you my have stepped, unwittingly, the advice below is quite good.
Until then I don’t think it’s useful… Or may not be useful.
Even though emotional intelligence is really important to live a good life, to have good relationships, to get things done, to be well… for all of life.
OK, here is the article from Wikihow
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to tap into your emotions and use them to make your life better. Being in touch with your feelings allows you to manage stress levels and communicate effectively with other people, two skills that enhance your life both personally and professionally. Unlike IQ, which remains constant throughout your life,
As we saw, the two capacities, humility: (saying: I don’t know), and seeing the big picture/looking at the thing inside the big picture, are the most predictive of people who can and will correct their faulty mental picture of reality.
Of these humility is primary.
Humility is what gets us out of our head, and makes us look again.
The mood of this: maybe I didn’t see it right!
We all know people who didn’t look twice, and walked into a trap, walked into disaster with their heads high, no idea that the trap is there.
And how you do anything is how you do everything. So if that is you: it is all over the place for you, in every area of your life.
I came up with the expression “top 10% of your mind” many years ago, when I was teaching the What Color of Your Parachute workshop.
It is said that you only use 5% of your brain. But, of course, you use all of your brain most of the time, but not for something worth using a precision instrument even the stupidest person possesses.
The truth is that 99% of your usage, what you see, what you say about what you feel, what you think is not new, and not accurate and not worth thinking, because it leads to no benefit.
I have students that make this phenomenon very easy to observe.
If you put all their posts together, take out the repetitive stuff, you end up with
And how it doesn’t mean to please everybody, or even one person. You’ll see…
Our language is so corrupt, it is hard to find a person who means what they say… I mean the words. You’ll see what meeting others’ expectation is… Not what’s on the illustrations… 🙁
The most willfully ignored need, in my experience, is the need to meet others’ expectation.
What prevents you from honoring that need is a misunderstanding. Or we could say: the mis-weighing bias. All biases are misunderstanding how things work, shortcuts that give you a different result than what you expected.
In not honoring but ignoring this need, your chances for success, your chances for love, for self-expression, for happiness are so greatly diminishe
Success literature, books, articles, movies about success… are they worth following?
Success leaves traces… as in footprints in the sand
If you look at what people did, how they did it, the tracks converge and become the “strait and narrow’, exactly the way Leo Tolstoy says it in the Anna Karenina Principle.
So there is no wonder that I am finding articles nowadays that I could have written myself, if I were a success writer.
There are three types of success writers and success coaches.
One type: they can talk… and talk… and talk. No success where they are, because they don’t even try. They live by teaching something that they learned… but never successfull
I think it was Hippocrates who said: “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”
He didn’t know that what we call food in the 21st Century isn’t. That there are more chemicals in what we call food than in actual medicine. That we now have access to “food” that our body does not recognize as food… Plants and animals from far away lands, or designer plants and designer animals, that no other living creature recognizes as food.
Cows’, sheep’, even pigs’ body doesn’t recognize corn as food. It gets sick from it.
Same with genetically modified alfalfa, soy and soy bean, and beets.
If you looked before you say “food”, you would know that.
If you were interested in what
It’s worth it… Is it worth it? It’s not worth it… It is all about whether it is worth it for you or not…
If you are supposed to have it already, then working for it doesn’t look like it’s worth it.
And this is the problem, an epidemic, of today. I have students in all the time zones of the world… and they all share this problem.
Memes, thought forms, prevalent teachings suggest that
1. you are already happy, worthy, successful, precious, special, blah blah blah
2. that you already have everything or supposed to to be who you want to be
3. that you should look within for all the answers
4. that the Universe is friendly to you
and on and on and on, endless flow of half-truth, endless flow of decepti
Sometimes it is the people no one can imagine anything of who do the things no one can imagine~Alan Turing
I watched yet another movie about Alan Turing and how his machine won the war against Nazi Germany.
I would not be around without him. And you would live a totally different life… The book (and the Amazon series) The Man in the High Castle approximates…
I am in awe. With what he did, with who he was, with genius winning, with goodness winning.
This is paraphrasing the famous Leo Tolstoy quote: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” This is the Anna Karenina principle… As all principles do, it applies to many, maybe even all areas of life. A principle is the same as a distinction… I say.
But truth is, if you know distinctions, if you know patterns, there are only about 50 different ways to get stuck… and your way is just one or two of those.
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