In my weekly coaching call with my only business/marketing student last night, I went deep into the causes of why someone with a degree, why someone who is making a living, cannot move further up the life-satisfaction, life effectiveness scale.
I have found two blatant holes in him, that my guess is shared by all of you, or most of you.
1. a total blindness of what gives meaning and therefore the mood for life.
2. a total inability to see what is cause and what is effect.
So how do you fix that? You don’t.
When you find something that isn’t working or isn’t working as well as you’d like it to, your knee jerk reaction is to fix it. Or change it. Or stop doing it.
Putting a price tag on any coaching is going to be a lie. My strategy sessions. My 67 step coaching. My health consultations. My Water Energizer. My Heaven on EArth…
Really, almost any product.
For two reasons:
1. the value is in the eye of the buyer…
2. the value literally changes with what the buyer can and will do with it.
The client needs to become ready to use the coaching and generate big value with it. ((Cooking recipes come to mind. Unless you know cooking without recipes, unless you develop a feel for what works together, every recipe will be a disaster for you.
Before i say anything else, all the illustrations about negative energy, negativity I use in this post are b.s. and harmful… The Hungarian Christmas pictures… I remember being a child…
Yesterday I was on a group coaching call where a so-called energy practitioner ((here are the starting point measurements and some guesses of this person…
1. your vibration (1-1000): 100
2. your overall intelligence, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, body, relationship, etc.: 50
3. the number of spiritual capacities you have: 1
4. your soul correction (your machine): https://www.yourvibration.com/sc I don’t know
The narrative ((narrative:
* 1.a story or account of events, experiences, or the like, whether true or fictitious.
* 2.a book, literary work, etc., containing such a story.
* 3.the art, technique, or process of narrating, or of telling a story: Somerset Maugham was a master of narrative.
* 4.a story that connects and explains a carefully selected set of supposedly true events, experiences, or the like, intended to support a particular viewpoint or thesis: to rewrite the prevailing narrative about masculinity; the narrative that our public schools are failing.))
A student of mine, after listening to my last Sunday call recording, asked why Jews turned to a different strategy than the slaves from Africa. Or Native Americans.
Actually, I continued to participate after the incident I’ll tell you about… but NEVER intended to contribute any more. Or not really. I was participating from hurt… knowing that what was broken cannot be fixed.
18 years ago, as I was coaching someone, it because clear to me that there are this core invisibles, that are underneath every issue, every distinction, every weird, unethical, unsavory action a human being makes.
Even though the distinction that there is a broadcast going on that everyone hears and everyone tunes into some of it, part of it, the part that feels relevant to what is going on for them.
I remember, it was 1991, and I drove home after th
Parents want to help, but instead they push you deeper into the bull’s ear.
The expression, came from a student’s father, ((I found a meme that is running my life and I know where it comes from… wohooo.
“I have to prove: “what I know”, “what I can”, “that I am smart”, “that I work hard” etc. To show off.
As I can see it, this context was created by my father. As long as I remember he has been telling me this in Kurdish: “You are in the ears of the bull”. Meaning, not aware, not intelligent, do not amount for anything or being like a donkey.
No matter what I did, got a degree, was not dependent on them like my younger brother and sister, was one of the best in the military, started to make a living.
Your behavior is always consistent with what you see.
And what you see depends 100% of your available capacities.
You don’t even look… because you know what is there… you know there is nothing to see.
The difference between a blind person and you is that the blind person knows she cannot see.
Why can’t you see? For two reasons:
1. your prejudices and cognitive biases
2. no one demanded that you actually see. The school system, your family, even the places where you work expect you to be blind, stupid, waiting to be told… and you don’t disappoint.
The few of you that can see are called trouble makers, or simple “trouble”.
During the summer of 1966 I ran into a girl I knew from elementary school. Turns out she applied and was accepted to the same school I was going to start in that September.
We were having a chat. I remember thinking to myself: Compared to her I know everything… why am I going to school?
We both graduated. I am sure she still thinks she knows everything. My experience is that I know less and less as time goes by.
Whether you can identify with my 19 year old person, or my 69 year old person, and to what degree will be important, so jot it down.
I am getting a lot of requests to teach people how to become people who live a life worth living, who excel in all four areas, all four pillars of the good life.
My answer is almost always: Sorry I can’t help you.
But why?
Today I got lucky and got my answer in a pristine form.
My University classmate, Panni called me. We talk once a month. She is, of course an architect: we were classmates in architecture school, a five year study.
Latticework can be likened to a Christmas Tree.
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