Can you be crying and be unphased? Does the White Lotus cry?

the white lotus, the symbol of being unphasedCan you listen to insults to your family, your god, your country and be unphased?

Can you watch death and grieving and be unphased?

I am unphased 91% of the time. Very few things pull me out of the equilibrium, where I need to recover so I can return to being well and unphased. All of them I self-created, none of them are real.

I cry a lot. I feel people’s grief, I feel centuries old sadness, I feel the pain of not being allowed to grow, or even to live.

I am re-reading an book about the story of a family, the Levis, through 800 years

More on joy, and how I am learning to have joy in my life

joy is an inside jobMy first foray, my first venture into joy or joyous is trying to figure out what joy is. After all we don’t know necessarily what words mean when it comes to feelings… do we. We, children, watch and learn… but in a world where what you see is a mask, what you see does not represent a feeling accurately, because the person isn’t feeling it, because the person is faking it, the looks don’t help.

My hunch is that joy is fabricated with the intention to cause craving for it, to cause an acute sense of the lack of it.

Actually, when I watch people who enjoy something, they

Are you the gift, or are you the gift giver? Do “they” feel they need to give you a gift?

you-are-the-giftI was looking at Christmas this morning and I saw something that I had never seen before.

Your relationships can be described in terms of gift giving and receiving.

For some people, in your life, you may be a gift. You and your life. And for others, you substitute that by giving them gifts at the predetermined gift-giving time… and buy another year to not be a gift.

I know, I know, I am off my rocker… but maybe you are! Have you ever thought about that?

I was looking at my relationships. Allowing the other to be a gift takes generosity of spirit. And to be a gift yours

More on the return of investment in light… and capacities

Ag_F1I got this email today. It’s seductive, it’s hypnotic, but the conclusion is totally wrong, misleading: the kind that makes you buy stuff and then never amount to anything.

I wonder why people, sellers, are afraid to tell the truth… That it takes work to get from A to B in anything, and to get from A to Z, where mastery is, you need a lot of work…

People buy my stuff… Even though I honestly tell the uncomfortable truth: without you doing your part, none of my stuff works… except maybe the Heaven on Earth… aka HOE.

But then again, they either don’t hear me or don’t believe me…

Anyway, read the story here, and notice that what they sel

Locked in? locked out? limited?

we feel locked out from most nice things in lifeIn Hungary, in some high schools, you can choose, at age 15-ish to pursue “real” or “humanities”.

Real is sciences, reasoning, math, physics, geometry, chemistry heavy.

Humanities… lots of words, I think. I chose “real” for myself.

I was bad at everything that talks ABOUT stuff, and great, sometimes exceptional in the non-verbal subjects.

Architects don’t talk either. Don’t listen either. So, in that regard it was a good match, and yet, I wasn’t happy.

I guess I wanted to think with words too. In every project I was chosen to w

What is the true stumbling block preventing you from going from A to B?

stumbling-blockI have been wrong.

I have been wrong in thinking that humility is the ultimate stumbling block. It seems that humility can help the mind withdraw from the “I don’t need to hear this I already know everything” stance, and allow you to learn, and use your other faculties.

But I can now see, that without courage first activated, present and in working order, humility won’t be accepted, because it takes courage to get out of the mind.

I hate that this is so… after all I spent so much time attempting to activate humility, with no success.

So we are down to courage…

What is courage really?

An

There are no aliens. But there are alien-like bugs

crystals that are aliveThis article will make you angry, or scared… And neither being angry, nor being scared is a good sign… they show that you have only a few human capacities active… and I probably can’t help you. Your best choice is to leave… Unsubscribe if you are a subscriber.

OK, here is the article:

There are no aliens.

There are no Aliens. But there are alien-like bugs.

When you search on google for alien bugs, you see bugs like you are used to, legs, eyes, pincers, and then something added… The imagination of graphic artists, movie makers, com

Starting to see the path, and maybe even the steps needed

the fog that covers the path, the process is liftingI am starting to see that this missing capacity: the capacity to see a process ((noun: process; plural noun: processes
a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end.
“military operations could jeopardize the peace process”
synonyms: procedure, operation, action, activity, exercise, affair, business, job, task, undertaking
“investigation is a long process”)) , design a process, to have a strategy, is what’s missing to take me out of the one woman band existence.

  • You can’t deleg

How words really effect you? And how positive thinkers are stupid

spanking-disciplineIf you had a childhood trauma… what is the best way to deal with it now, so you can grow?

Some of you were abused as a child.

Now, strictly speaking, there is no such thing as abuse in reality. Abuse is a particular interpretation of something that happened. If I asked a visiting Martian what happened, he would say things like one person hit the other, or one person yelled at another, or one person tied up another, pushed them down, maybe even put one part of their anatomy into the other… but not abuse.

Abuse never happened… or it happened only if you said so… for you. In your

Getting really smart is scary

flowers for algernoon, a tale of getting smartOne thing the book Flowers for Algernon did not prepare me for is how scary it is to get too smart too quickly.

I have been experimenting with different capacities… what they do, what behavior, what insight they possible.

One of these capacities increased my capacity (it had been turned on, but not ful