Source, in our 17 years of cooperation, has learned how to push my buttons.

You tell me I can’t do it, I’ll defy you, and by hooks or by crooks I’ll do it. I am a ‘Forget Thyself’… it is my nature.

So Source has been telling me that I am due to die… and the same mechanism is now pushing me to 1. defy the deadline 2. maybe manage to take some people over the hump and into the Promised Land.

I like this game. And I much prefer it to hope and nice-nice.
On another note: it is part of human arrogance to think you already know everything important, and only minor details you may not know…

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