Why do I write? Who do I write for? What is important to me? These are the questions are occupying my thoughts…

I just finished reading 1984, Orwell’s novel. I am not an American, so I never even heard about it until about 1984… In Hungary it is not a recommended reading.

It was a traumatic experience for me, much like Brave New World was back in 1977 when I first read it. Much soul searching followed, I am not quite done with the soul searching.

I mentioned to my driver that I read the book… and from her response, I think I was lucky: the best way to make an important book to make no waves is to make it compulsory in high school… They will leave no impression, and the powers that be can sigh a sigh of relief.

The book is important. It deals with what is important in life. And it deals with how it can be taken away without most people ever noticing.

I looked what is more important to me than life itself.

 

 

Not an easy thing to see… if you are looking square at the question, you’ll get no answer.

You need to go from narrow cone: trying to answer the question, to wide cone vision: seeing your life… past, present.

Most people cannot do that… the question occupies their whole field of vision… causing stupidity…

When I look back at my life… 69 years… I see only one thing that I say life is not worth living without it. And that is freedom.

What is freedom? I am not sure… but I am sure it is not liberty, the favorite “intrinsic value” of Americans. I don’t give a beans about liberty. Freedom has nothing to do with it: liberty is outside. Freedom is inside.

When I notice that I am hooked on something, I immediately unhook myself.

I quit smoking, I quit eating stuff, drinking coffee, tea, ginger ale, all so I am free.

I don’t THINK freedom is important, I live it. I diligently and ruthlessly remove everything I find in the way of my freedom to be.

Would I betray freedom to save myself from pain?

That is the second thing I pondered. Winston, in the novel, betrayed his lover… When he was threatened to be thrown to the rats, he redirected the rats to his lover: eat her… instead.

He betrayed his lover. What could I betray if I were threatened to have spiders unleashed on me? Would I betray freedom? Would I betray Source? Would I betray growth?

Asked differently, replacing would with could… muscle test says yes… so these are important to me.

But would I? Muscle test is uncommitted about that: divination is not allowed: FREE Will is never to be violated.

I wonder how many people cherish freedom, or even know what freedom is?

In the book, 1984, Winston and his lover were alone with that, the freedom to love.

The way you check yourself is this: do you notice that you are hooked on something? That you don’t make your own decisions?

Especially when it comes to pain and pleasure?

Do you do things to alleviate boredom, discomfort, bad feelings? Then you are hooked… and you probably value comfort more than you value freedom.

I have already started to read my next book, Hooked, that is a marketing book: how to hook your audience… the opposite of what I want to do… but it is still good to know how you are hooked and what you are hooked on, so I can get through to you.

I read to know you more. To see the bigger picture. To get clear on what I am about.

I watch you. You either don’t read, or you have some other motive… Some of you read novels… and you need for the excitement, the story, to escape your life, to feel better.

You are hooked. No freedom.

Without freedom you are not human. Without freedom you are a slave. As sure as if they had chains on you.

Because freedom is an inner thing. It’s visible through your thoughts, your feelings, your self-image, your attitudes.

Your thoughts are not yours. Your feelings are induced, your self-image is projected on you. And your attitudes are societal… not yours.

My goal is to take you out of slavery… but as the saying goes: you can take the girl out of the gutter, but you can’t take the gutter out of the girl… or something like that.

My job is to cause you, through reading, through exposing you to the 100 thinking errors you probably have, to a world where you can easily find the strait and narrow, and become a full human, maybe even a human being, successful, healthy, happy, and growing.

I have my job cut out for me.

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