In life, you have as much room to be as your environment grants you.
Room as in elbow room…
The environment you are in, at home, at work, at the pub, at the club, in the community van…
My brother has a lot of room to be when he is with his friends. He is funny, he is smart, maybe even glib… that is the only place anywhere he has some room to be. Maybe he had room to be at work… he is retired now. Everywhere else he is under the “thumb” of someone… under the tyranny of someone. He should be different, do different… never OK, never enough, never the one… except maybe his grandkids? still adoring him… for how long?
I left Hungary to have more room to be someone more than who I felt the environment allowed me there to be.
You marry someone with the hopes that they will grant you being… but mostly this doesn’t work out. People marry for their own reasons… to fulfill their own agendas.
Living life with people is an obstacle course, and communication is key.
Everything can be resolved in communication… but none of us knows how to communicate. We talk. But communicate?
Fohget about it…
So it is not surprising that if we cannot communicate with a fellow human with whom we supposedly share a language, we also can’t communicate with our cat.
- I can teach you a thing or two about the moves in communication with people
- I can also promise that everything can be resolved in communication…
- And I am almost certain that what you think is communication isn’t.
I have had cats for 20 years. And I never learned to communicate with most of them… except maybe the first male cat I had: we had a non-verbal connection…
I have no cats now, but I still love cats.
And I found this video and the Cat Language Course… How delightful.
Of course, communication will not change that if you have a cat, they run the household. But for many that is no problem.
If you are in love with your kitties or kitty, learn their language so you can have an even happier kitty.
PS: From time to time I manage to get through to a client and tweak their communication. The resistance is tremendous. More often than not I need at least an hour conversation for them to relent and at least try it.
For some reason, it is communication that gets the least of our energy, even though it is 90% determinant of the quality of our lives and actions.
Vilfredo Pareto, an engineer, observed that 20 percent of our efforts produce 80% of our results.
Effective communication produces an even higher percentage of the results; it’s 90%.
But like with nearly everything, your instincts say the opposite of what would work. The polar opposite.
So you do the unimportant and ineffective 90% of the time… with no or meager results.
You listen to your instincts and you lose.
It takes courage to swim against the tide. To communicate. Even with your cat… lol.
Why is communication so effective? Because we live in a word-based world, and words create worlds… and words create context for everything.
The most important part of communication is creating context… Context for what? Context of what is happening… so people can get to our side instead of fighting us.
If you learn nothing else but how to create context that garners support, you get the most important 10% of communication that produces the 90% of what makes it work.
They call it Pareto Squared… ok, I lied. I’ll call it Pareto Squared… lol.
I am working on a course to teach it.
Interested? Please let me know by signing up to a notification list. Emails to me won’t count.
PPS: I am experimenting with conducting my Sunday call more like a course. Today’s call was like that for the very first time. One overarching topic, lots of examples, no side-stories.
The call was about the 1% that solves 99% of all human troubles. I could call it the Pareto Quadrupled because the division of effective and marginal is so extreme.
Just master 1% and 99% of your issues transform, disappear, and you go from ineffective and complaining, to effective or at least potentially effective, or eventually effective.
But you will be on the most economical path with the least amount of work to become an amazing person.
When I look at billionaires, this 1% is what they all mastered, this 1% skill. Each and every one of them.
Will listening to one call do it for you? It could… or it could be the starting point where you know exactly what is the pivoting point, the linchpin capacity… and put all your eggs into that basket.
Want to hear the call?
Send me an email for the payment link.
Why I don’t want to post the link? Because I don’t want to give my pearls to everyone who has money…
Read the original article: Communication: How to shape your environment so you can become more… happier, freer, more productive