I am still struggling with having something or anything to say. Now I have the energy, but don’t have the … what?

What don’t I have, and why is that important to know what it is that you don’t have?

The number one need of people, I say, is the desire to make a difference.

But when I say “make a difference” I don’t mean the big flashy things, like Bill Gates curing malaria… I mean being wanted to be there. That you are not refused.

Cain killed Abel in the Bible, because god accepted Abel’s sacrifice, but not his. He, Cain, got furious, and killed who he could killed, Abel.

Feeling refused, feeling not wanted is the cause of the biggest pain, and unfortunately people carry that in their unconscious for the length of their lives.

If you were only seven months old and your mother gave birth to another child, a preemie who had special needs, you suddenly felt refused, not wanted, and until you made peace with what happened, and got, in your bones, that it wasn’t that way even though it felt that way, you’ll live your life as someone who is not wanted. And your reaction to it will be anger, belligerence, spitefulness, alternately being forceful and resigned, but rarely be anything healthy and conducive for a good life.

I could tell you my story too… same experience, somewhat different happenings in reality, but the same result: a predictable attitude to life.

And especially if you now have built a sensitivity to the vibes that tell you you are not wanted, you are not important, your feelers are always out to re-experience it.

And you will experience not being wanted a lot… I do.

You’ll deal with it your way, by the way. Most likely the way your soul correction scripts it.

I react with the Gentian energy: discouragement. My normal morning: I get up when I wake up, between 4 am and 6 am. Today I slept till 7:30… and didn’t want to get up. To what? For what? Why should I get up? It is hopeless…

So what clues me in when I say, when I feel that I am not wanted? It is what I feel there in YOU, instead of eagerness, wanting to learn, what I feel is  there: “I already know everything”, or “who do you think you are to challenge my belief system?” and such.

I am starting to accept that people I meet in my daily life are not interested. So much so that they speak over me when I speak. Or rudely interrupt. Or tell me they are not interested.

So I have started to talk about them about what interests them. That, they can hear.

I am here to learn

I am having an email conversation with a student of mine who bought one of my old videos (the upset process) where the most important part is where the new employee wants to become the boss without learning her job, thus making it impossible for her trainer to get through to her.

In the video I recommend the new employee to declare to her trainer “I am here to learn from you”.

My student caught that is the missing thing for him, is that declaration. He has been coming to my courses, workshops, webinars for 6-7 years, and is, largely, where he was when he started.

What allows learning is humility.

The declaration that you are here to learn. But what is in the unsaid is: that you need to learn, because you are incompetent, or not fully competent in what you want to learn.

Your precious I, your inflated self, doesn’t want to hear about that. It has declared you that know everything, and need nothing. It wants all the things knowing everything would entitle you for, but what it doesn’t want is humility, work, effort, none of that.

And this is not personal to him: all of you have some of it, I measure it in my Starting Point Measurements in measures 11, 15, and 18. Why three times? Because those numbers look at it from three different angles… I want to be certain. The student’s number is 70%. This is the number that stands in your way when you want to learn anything, so you can raise your vibration, so you can have a life that is worth living. ((1. your vibration (1-1000):
2. your overall intelligence, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, body, relationship, etc.:
3. the number of spiritual capacities you have:
4. your soul correction (your machine): https://yourvibration.com/sc
5. do you have attachments?
6. the level of your health (1-100):
7. the level of your cell hydration (1-100):
8. your relationship to feedback and instruction:
9. The level of discomfort you are willing to allow w/o trying to fix it. This is your TLB score…
10. The size of your accurate and active vocabulary: the number of words you use accurately:
11. Your about-me score, also the inverted number of humility:
12. Self-awareness:
13. Ambition:
14. Desire:
15. Degree of inauthenticity/pretense self overall:
16. Level of integrity 1-100, the relationship between you and you:
17. how enslaved are you to the Tree of Knowledge? (what percentage of your life is run by memes/untruth?)
18. do you have a bridge between your precious “I” and your actual I? What is your level of delusion
19. To what degree you have access to your adult capacities %
20. How teachable/how coachable are you?
21. The level of your awareness?
23. the percentage of time you spend in the mind:
24. the percentage of input that gets through to you.
25. How inspired can you become? And what level are you now
26. To what degree you honor your emotions as reality?
27. What is your cone of vision in percentage of the visible? this tells me whether you can connect the dots…
28. How much control do you have over your attention?))

I have been making myself more available, and I have been dripping out, offering to you, older courses, that teach what I don’t have the time to teach nowadays, but they are essential for you to know…

And I make them so inexpensive, that they can be considered cheap.

And when I check the numbers of the one-two people who buy, the numbers are consistent: the one-two people who buy have a low delusion number, the ones that don’t have high.

All three numbers are high for someone who can’t and won’t learn because they already know everything.

So when I don’t want to get up in the morning, that is the energy that activates my Gentian, my discouragement.

I am offering my gold for next to nothing, and you don’t want it.

My current 20-day learning challenge is watching an average one video a day from the 150 videos of Dr Peter Popper, a Hungarian psychologist, and his Master course. Mesterkurzus in Hungarian.

He has a full house every time, and the cameraman shows the audience, closeups, note takers, bored ones, haughty ones, and I can see that his audience is like mine. Have a full cup. Perks up when he tells a story, and he is a great storyteller. But I can feel they are not there to learn, they are there to be entertained. Pick and choose what they take in and what they don’t.

It so happens, that Popper had a poor relationship with his mother. Turns out his mother wanted a girl, and then he was born, a boy. And until they cleared that up, there was no love, no intimacy, no warmth between them. He felt not wanted.

Maybe that is why he wants to talk so much. Maybe that is why he wrote and published 53 books… ((

As an aside: Popper gets up at 1:30 am every morning, to work. Writing this many books would be impossible, I think, if he lived like everyone else, were up when other people are up… and slept when other people slept. To write you need to keep your wits about you, no interruptions, and that is only possible if you are living an inverse life…

I have accomplished a lot in my life, many professions, many skills, all packed in a short lifetime. My secret has been my sleep schedule.

I am freshest and sharpest in the first six to eight hours of my day. If you get up late and go to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, you are sharpest when everyone is around, making noise, emotional and physical, and dullest when you are alone. How stupid is that?))

Popper’s vibration is 350, unusually high. His stuff has also high truth value, except for certain topics about politics… 60%.

I still have to declare: I am here to learn, when I start one of those videos. I am here to learn… and I do. And I am amazed how much I didn’t know… didn’t even know I didn’t know. Wow.

So I am lucky I have the humility to declare and mean it.

Your level of humility, your level ability to learn, to want to learn is inversely correlated to your “about-me” number.

Your about-me number is very important: the higher that number the less you can see from reality. The less you can see beyond your precious I.

Your precious “I” wants to teach and preach and trump over everyone. Talk over, prove the world that your I is not inflated, that in comparison you are better, more valuable than the other.

This is the biggest thing I am learning from listening to the Playground partner calls… and when anyone’s arrogant “precious I” gets smaller, I dance a little victory dance.

Because, of all the numbers in your “Starting Point Measurements,” that is the strongest indicator that you CAN raise your vibration.

And that is what I am all about, helping you to raise your vibration.

Big sigh…

The emotion there is “no matter what I do… I can’t”

That emotion always covers up a lie. Maybe I haven’t done everything that can be done.

What is missing is in the “I don’t know that I don’t know” quadrant of “all-knowledge”. So I have a new ambition now, find what it is I could do, to turn those who are willing to become a learning machine. Sounds funny. I like funny. Funky. Off-beat. Not serious. Maybe I could be funny? I am laughing and scared at the same time.

Let’s try… I am a beginner at this… But I am willing to learn how to be funny, entertaining, so “I am here to learn”.

I have a free talk, interactive, today on a webinar at 4 pm EDT, that means NY summer time. Europe start summer next week.

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Read the original article: Can’t learn? Won’t learn? How you keep yourself stuck in life…